I think I rented that once (True story!)

The song "12 Days of Christmas." For someone who claims to be my true love, you sure gave me some terrible gifts. In fact, I'm going to have to take these on one by one. 12 drummers drumming. Oh, just what I wanted. 12 hippies in a drum circle. 11 pipers piping. This is Christmas, not a Scottish funeral. 10 lords a-leaping? How about you leap in front of a moving truck? 9 ladies dancing. Let me guess -- too much wine at book club? 8 maids a-milking. I think I rented that once. 7 swans a-swimming. Go duck yourself. 6 geese a-laying. Go flock yourself. 5 golden rings? What am I -- Liberace? 4 calling birds. No one calls anymore. Shoot me a text or F off. 3 French hens. French hens? This is America, pal. We call 'em freedom chickens. 2 turtle doves. Are you a turtle or a dove? Pick one. A partridge in a pear tree? I got a bird for ya right here, buddy. --Seth Meyers

Bethlehem innkeepers. Where do you get off turning away a pregnant woman? You're lucky Yelp wasn't around during the time of the Bible, or you would've been savaged. Also, you sent them to the manger?! Here is a tidbit of common decency. If you run an inn and a woman needs to give birth, maybe do better than the shack where your goats eat. It's disgusting, and that's coming from a guy whose wife gave birth in the lobby of a New York City apartment building. True story! --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It left many Democrat voters rolling over in their graves (they're complicit)

It's Liberation day! Yes not to be confused with Liberace day. That's when I show up to work with a candelabra up my a**. Wisconsin voters approved a referendum requiring voter ID leaving many Democrat voters rolling over in their graves. —Greg Gutfeld 

Delaware Democrat Chris Coons wonders why we're wasting time on Greenland when the average American can't find Greenland on the map. To which the average American responded, ‘well none of us can find Delaware on a map either.’ It’s a tiny little place. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

this ruling means California gay guys can finally marry someone other than Liza Minnelli (swayed by that Liberace movie)

June 2013

"Yesterday, the Supreme Court opened the door for same-sex marriage to resume in California. Apparently, the judges were really swayed by that Liberace movie." –Jay Leno

"Now that the Supreme Court has overturned the Defense of Marriage Act, this ruling means California gay guys can finally marry someone other than Liza Minnelli." –Jay Leno

"The Girl Scouts announced that their pension plan has a $347 million deficit. The Girl Scouts are $347 million in debt so in addition to teaching girls about camping it also is preparing them for careers in government." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Judges were really swayed by that Liberace movie

"If you really don't want gay people to get married, you shouldn't ban gay marriage. You should ban gay divorce." –Craig Ferguson 



"It's been a bit of a week for the Supreme Court. Yesterday they ruled that it's okay for gay people to get married. Today, they ruled it's okay for straight people to rollerblade." –Craig Ferguson



"Yesterday, the Supreme Court opened the door for same-sex marriage to resume in California. Apparently, the judges were really swayed by that Liberace movie." –Jay Leno