I'm dying for a little Joe (they brought him an alter boy)

"As far as anyone can remember, no New Jersey governor has ever been in a car crash ... although former Governor McGreevey was frequently rear-ended." --Bill Maher

"President Bush spoke at a Catholic prayer breakfast. You can tell it was a Catholic prayer breakfast because it was in the morning and he said, 'I'm dying for a little Joe.' And they brought him an alter boy." --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

She defines 'normal' sex as sex where she has to wear a Justin Timberlake mask ($200 getting her back waxed)

"Embattled World Bank president Paul Wolfowitz said Sunday that he will not resign over the scandal in which he secured a pay raise for his girlfriend. That's one thing you have to admire about Wolfowitz: he's a total douche." --Seth Meyers

"John Edwards got a $400 haircut in Beverly Hills. The latest rumor is that Hillary Clinton may have spent nearly $200 getting her back waxed." --Jay Leno

"During last night's Democratic debate, all the candidates said that if they were elected, they would get rid of the military's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy for gay soldiers. 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' will be replaced by the new policy, 'Don't Tell Me You're Wearing Those Boots With That Gun.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey's ex-wife says that up until he announced he was gay, they had 'normal' sex. Apparently, Mrs. McGreevey defines 'normal' sex as sex where she has to wear a Justin Timberlake mask." --Conan O'Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

How many guys do you have to screw to get your wife to call you gay!? (no idea he could lie like that)

"Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey's ex-wife says in her new book that McGreevey is not really homosexual. McGreevey was furious and said, 'How many guys do you have to screw to get your wife to call you gay!?'" --Conan O'Brien

"Later this week, President Bush will meet with the prime minister of Japan. Or, as President Bush calls him, Mr. Miyagi." --Conan O'Brien

"I got myself a new computer this week. I got the Alberto Gonzales Dell computer. Have you seen this one? It destroys your e-mails and has no memory." --Jay Leno

"Almost everybody in Washington is still calling for Gonzales to resign. President Bush said Gonzales' testimony last week increased his confidence in him. Bush said he had no idea Gonzales could lie like that." --Jay Leno

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

defines 'normal' sex as sex where she has to wear a Justin Timberlake mask (Top 1% Got What?)

"Yesterday, President Bush visited a school in New York City. Before his visit, the city filled in all the potholes near the school. Not only that, before the president's visit, the school hid all the sharp objects and covered the electric sockets with plastic protectors." --Conan O'Brien

"Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey's ex-wife says that up until he announced he was gay, they had 'normal' sex. Apparently, Mrs. McGreevey defines 'normal' sex as sex where she has to wear a Justin Timberlake mask." --Conan O'Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

She just thought he had really bad aim (The winner will then be selected by Exxon-Mobil)

"The former first lady of New Jersey and soon to be ex-wife of gay former Governor Jim McGreevey was on 'Oprah' today. She wrote a book that claims even though she was married to the guy for almost four years, she never knew Jim McGreevey was gay. She just thought he had really bad aim." --Jimmy Kimmel

"This week, all the Republican candidates will be coming to California to debate each other at the Reagan Library. The winner will then be selected by Exxon-Mobil." --Jay Leno

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

One prostitute got paid with a military base in her home state (Snow White Lies)

"Anybody planning on seeing 'Spiderman 3'? This one is crazy because during the day he's Spiderman, but at night he turns into his alter ego. He goes out wearing black tights and does things that he's ashamed about the next day. Wait a minute ... that's Jim McGreevey." --David Letterman

"Everyone has been so nice to me here in San Francisco. Earlier today, Mayor Gavin Newsom invited me over for a sandwich. After that, we had lunch." --Conan O'Brien

"There's a big scandal going on down in Washington, DC, with a prostitution ring. Politicians were actually paying for sex. One girl got paid with a military base in her home state." --David Letterman

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

To which President Bush went, 'See!' (especially the altar boys)

"The DC madam says that when she's releasing these names, she's not doing it for political reasons. She says she does not have a political bone in her body. At least not today." --Jay Leno

"Former gay Governor of New Jersey Jim McGreevey now announced he's looking into becoming an Episcopal priest. Not a lot of people happy about this ... especially the altar boys." --Jay Leno

"The other day, McGreevey's wife was on 'Oprah' and she talked about how when he told her that he was gay, she said, 'He gave me the news in cowardly installments.' According to McGreevey, he always wished she would just take it like a man." --Jay Leno

"According to Men's Health Magazine, one out of five grown adult men still watch Saturday morning cartoons every week. To which President Bush went, 'See!'" --Jay Leno

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

43rd Best President of the United States (what could go wrong there?)

   

"And here's a joke that pretty much writes itself. Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, remember he resigned from office because he had a gay affair. Now he's enrolled in a seminary school to become a priest. You may fill in your own joke. A former married governor who was having anonymous gay sex at truck stops now wants to become a member of the clergy. Well what could go wrong there?" --Jay Leno

"The best Republican sex scandal continues to unfold today, as Senator Larry Craig plead guilty to a misdemeanor after he got caught in a police sting operation in the men's room of a Minneapolis airport. The terror alert level in our nation's airport bathrooms has been raised to lavender. Some members of the GOP are demanding the senator give up his seat, which when you think about it, that's how he got in trouble in the first place!" --Jimmy Kimmel

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

The town is so small, they had no professional hookers (just volunteers)

"But, I mean, how about this, and she, you know, at one times was mayor of a very small town, a very small town in Alaska. Anybody here ever been to Alaska? Name of the town was Wasilla. Anybody ever been to Wasilla, Alaska? Anyway, Wasilla, Alaska – very small town. The town is so small, they had no professional hookers – no, no, just volunteers." --David Letterman

"But people in Alaska are interesting people. They’re different. They’re rugged, individualist people. And they have, like the Governor Sarah Palin has some wild ideas. Has some wild ideas – she wants to change the U.S. currency from dollars, wants to change the currency from dollars to pelts." --David Letterman

"A lot of biographical information about Sarah Palin last night. When she was 24 years old, she eloped with her boyfriend. Yeah, and I believe the last governor to elope with a boyfriend, was, well, Jim McGreevey." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535

Exxon says they'll give $11 million to anyone who kills that guy (2,000-year-old Jewish man who is not Larry King)

"In New Jersey today, there were dangerous winds, with gusts up to 50 miles an hour. The winds were so strong that they blew former Governor McGreevey off his chauffeur." --Conan O'Brien

"Well, of course, this Sunday is Easter. Of course, Easter is that very, very holy day when Christians around the world honor a 2,000-year-old Jewish man who is not Larry King." --Conan O'Brien

"A big insurance company just announced they will give $10 million to anyone who can invent a car that gets 100 miles per gallon. Meanwhile, Exxon says they'll give $11 million to anyone who kills that guy." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Playgirl magazine/Client Number 11/his sex therapist has a fantastic rack

"Have you heard about this? Playgirl magazine made an offer to Eliot Spitzer to appear naked in the magazine. Isn't that unbelievable? I tell you, you know who really wants to see that spread? Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey." --Jay Leno

"In Tibet, the rumor is the Dalai Lama might be stepping down. Yeah, it turns out he was Client Number 11." --Jay Leno

"A new CNN poll just came out about the campaign. Interesting results. A new study shows that wine drinkers prefer Hillary Clinton to the other candidates. Yeah, after hearing this, Bill Clinton asked, 'How much wine have they had?'" --Conan O'Brien

"I guess this is good news. Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has reportedly entered therapy for a sex addiction. Spitzer said his therapy is going well, and that his therapist has a fantastic rack." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

mullet-on-mullet-on-mullet action (embarrassing pre-hooker days)

"There are technically now so many sex scandals in New York, it's hard for me to keep track of them. Are you having the same trouble? Every day you pick up the paper, there's a new revelation. This is the latest. Today, it was revealed that Eliot Spitzer's call girl, Ashley Dupre, appeared in a 'Girls Gone Wild' video when she was 18. Yeah, when asked about it, Ashley said, 'That was during my embarrassing pre-hooker days.'" --Conan O'Brien

"It's now being reported that the former governor of New Jersey took part in several threesomes involving his wife and his chauffeur. Yeah. So, it's your move, Eliot Spitzer. --Conan O'Brien

"It is true, though, the former governor of New Jersey has reportedly taken part in several threesomes. That's what everyone's saying. Or, as a threesome is known in New Jersey, mullet-on-mullet-on-mullet action." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Tragic, yes... (but I can also see the bright side)

"It could now be profitable for oil companies to start drilling for oil in Los Angeles again. And once again, I think President Bush doesn't really understand this issue. Like today, he announced the drawing of a contingency plan to invade the San Fernando Valley." --Jay Leno

"God, that's got to be depressing for women, don't you think? I mean, think about it. When even a legally blind guy has a roving eye, come on!" --Jay Leno

"According to a new study by scientists at Clemson University, almost 3,000 bacteria are transferred every time you double-dip something. More bad news for New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Isn't that what you were telling me between sobs and punches?

"And so ensnared in a trap he so shrewdly told others how to avoid, it was time for Governor Spitzer to join the shame parade, to follow in the footsteps of the faithless. 

New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, Idaho Senator Larry Craig, Louisiana Senator David Vitter, President Clinton, even Gary Hart a quarter century ago -- all contrite, all following the simple rule of public humiliation, bring a date [on screen: Spitzer appearing at his presser with wife Silda Wall Spitzer and saying, 'I will briefly address a private matter. 

I acted in a way that violated my obligations to my family']. Right, honey? Right? Remember how you were telling me about that, me violating the trust of family? Isn't that what you were telling me between sobs and punches?" --Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JusticeDemocrats #Bernie2020

Looking for WMDs in all the wrong places (Five People You Meet Under My Desk)

"The Senate has passed a resolution to make English the official language of the United States. When asked if they approve of the resolution, 75% of the people in Los Angeles said, 'Si.'" --Jay Leno

"A lot of sleazy politicians in the news today. Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevy has written a book where he says he used to cruise highway truck stops looking to have sex with gay truckers. How many times have we seen this? Just another government official screwing a consumer at the gas pump." --Jay Leno

"Former President Bill Clinton has signed another book deal. We have an advanced copy of his new book. It's the 'Five People You Meet Under My Desk.'" --Jay Leno

a confused George W. Bush lit a menorah (the Republican principle of Go F--- Yourself)

"Today is Friday the 13th. Down in Washington, a confused George W. Bush lit a menorah." --David Letterman

"Happy Birthday to Senator Bob Dole. Bob Dole turned 83 on Saturday. Bob said today every year is a little harder for him, thanks to Viagra." --Jay Leno

"Let's see what's new with New Jersey Governor Jim 'Keep On Truckin' McGreevy. Former New Jersey Governor  Jim McGreevy has written a book where he said he used to cruise highway rest stops looking to have anonymous sex with gay truckers. At what point do you stop having anonymous sex at truck stops and say to yourself I'm tired of this, I'd rather be governor?" --Jay Leno

"Showing that he will not be deterred by this scandal, President Bush went to Chicago yesterday for a fundraiser with the embattled Speaker of the House, Dennis Hastert. Bush said he could have cancelled, but he wanted to show his unwavering commitment to the Republican principle of 'Go F--- Yourself.'" --Bill Maher