I support lesbian independence for all (Hell, that's our number one industry)

"In a speech yesterday, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announce that he 'supports lessening our dependence on foreign oil.' Unfortunately, it came out sounding more like, 'I support lesbian independence for all.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Anybody here from New Zealand? They have a big, new attraction. It's a live sex show in New Zealand. They have actual bulls mounting a simulated cow. Good to see Ann Coulter getting some work." --David Letterman

"New York is on a heightened state of alert. They say New Yorkers should be aware of suspicious activity. I'm thinking, 'Hell, that's our number one industry.'" --David Letterman