"President Bush on
Tuesday reluctantly released portions of the classified report that stated the
war in Iraq is adding to the terrorist threat throughout the world. Though
suspiciously in some portions of the report, someone had crossed out Iraq and
written in, 'Gay dudes'." --Amy Poehler of Saturday Night Live
"A Tomahawk cruise
missile fell off a truck in the Bronx this week. A cruise missile, isn't that
unbelievable? You know what that means? There are now more weapons of mass
destruction in the Bronx than there are in Iraq." --Jay Leno
"When it gets hot, so
hot you can't stand it and the steam is rising from your scalp, do you worry
about global warming? Well, George Bush is now also worried about global
warming, but he has a plan. He's going to invade the sun." --David
Letterman
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