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Wednesday, January 6, 2016

it's now Utah's state motto



In a recent interview, Hillary Clinton said that she would investigate UFOs, and said that aliens may have already visited Earth. When he heard that, Trump said, “Forget the wall. We need a dome! Just build a huge dome. A huge classy beautiful dome! We'll make the aliens pay for the dome.” –Jimmy Fallon
In an NPR interview last week, Jeb Bush revealed the ingredients for his guacamole recipe, but wouldn't give away the specifics of how to prepare it. So now I guess we HAVE to elect Jeb Bush. –Jimmy Fallon
Some people are upset about a billboard in Utah that advertises a dating site called “Where-White-People-Meet-dot-com.” Even more controversial — it's now Utah's state motto. –Jimmy Fallon


We're basically the same person



My New Year's resolution for 2016 was to join a gym. My New Year's resolution next year is to go to that gym. –James Corden
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg announced his resolution saying "my personal challenge for 2016 is to build a simple AI to run my home and help me with my work." Mark Zuckerberg's resolution is to build an artificial intelligence system that controls his entire home. Meanwhile, I'm determined to give up sweets. We're basically the same person. –James Corden
Donald Trump said yesterday that if he’s elected, he would “probably not talk as much.” That’s right, if Donald Trump is elected, even HE will be speechless. –Seth Meyers
Republican hopeful Carly Fiorina said on Sunday that Ted Cruz will say “whatever he needs to say” to win the election. And it’s true. Just this morning, Ted Cruz said “Hi, I’m Hillary Clinton.” –Seth Meyers
China this weekend formally replaced its one-child policy with a new law allowing two children per family. That way, families will have one child to play with, while the other one’s at work. –Seth Meyers


it’s really not easy being a white man in Oregon



A militia group that is protesting the U.S. government has taken over a wildlife refuge in Oregon. Of course you can understand why they’re angry, it’s really not easy being a white man in Oregon. –Conan O’Brien
A study found that moderate consumption of red wine leads to higher test scores. So apparently, I spent New Year’s Eve "cramming for a final." –Conan O’Brien
A new study came out that reveals some dangerous side effects from childbirth. The dangerous side effects women suffer include pelvic injuries, muscle tears, and children. –Conan O’Brien


The man says he's excited to spend the entire year drunk



According to a new poll, Donald Trump was the candidate Americans would least want to have as their neighbor. It makes sense, because he'd build a MASSIVE WALL between your yards and make YOU pay for it. –Jimmy Fallon
On “Face the Nation” yesterday, Donald Trump accused Ted Cruz of copying his immigration reform plan, specifically his idea of building a giant wall. Then China said, “Uh, hello?” –Jimmy Fallon
A new poll found that women in America are angrier about current events than men. And if you want to make them even angrier, just tell them they seem angry. –Jimmy Fallon
A man in London just took Uber's one-billionth ride, and to celebrate, Uber gave him a year's worth of free rides. The man says he's excited to spend the entire year drunk. –Jimmy Fallon


Saturday, January 2, 2016

Book Reviews (January 2, 2016)



Some reviews of my book:

His poetry will go on being read and studied for years to come. From his pillowcases with magical powers, the consequences of a man coming home five minutes too late, or a Marine platoon in Vietnam making a left turn instead of turning right. The poems build upon one another with lines of creation, then of destruction. Then start all over again with the next poem and the next line. It will wear you down. An overwhelming presence here. And while you are reading, starvation seems inevitable. Survival unsure.
An emotional rollercoaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
Kristina Betts, Lapel Review

It made me blow the dust off my copy of Orwell’s 1984. An amazing compilation.
Susan Hampton, Edgewood Journal

I fully agree with Bukowski Lover's concise review. John Hulse does, indeed evoke the wordplay of the Late CB, but he brings an honesty and openness way to beautiful and fragile, so that you'll weep every time that pure sweetness meets the mean streets of this Reality we all share. He'll make you yearn for its Deliverance, and then, suddenly, you'll know what you must do to save it. ... and you're not alone... even if you feel like it. Hulse evokes here a sort of Matthew 5: 1-12 Beatitudes for our times, through deep-diving, immersive views into the world of Empathy and Mercy, and Compassion that are spell-binding in their simplicity.

This book should be included in the "Welcome to Humanity" Packets for all newcomers. John Hulse is a true Master of the Word, and most tender of Champions for the Human Condition.

Mr. Hulse displays a mastery of the foibles of humanity—specifically men. He’s got a sharp wit, a fresh an interesting take on relationships, and isn’t afraid to push the envelope with his content. His bio discusses his world travels and myriad life experiences, and this reader can’t help but notice how his past very obviously affects his work. It appears to be an organic evolution, because growth in technique, word selection, and image creation is evident throughout. A thoroughly entertaining jaunt through the mind of a man who is without doubt as interesting as his work.

Whenever I’ve had the opportunity to read Mr. Hulse’s work, I am always struck by the mix of brutal honesty and humorous social commentary. He hasn’t failed to impress with this latest release. His jabs at the evil of corporate America, his insights into the dichotomous nature of public America, and his humble and hilarious comments on his personal life never disappoint. His raison d’ĂȘtre is poetry, and this dedication is obvious. With the loss of so many great poets in the last 10 or 15 years, I am glad another voice is there to contribute to the art.


Latest polls Sanders 51% Trump 38%




"Later this month George W. Bush will make his first European trip as president, visiting Prime Minister Tony Blair in London. Hoping to make a good impression, Bush has spent the last week trying to learn a few English words." —Tina Fey, on SNL's "Weekend Update"
"When that crazy gunman started firing shots at the White House, the press spokesman said that Bush was working out in the gym while Vice President Dick Cheney was hard at work at his desk. See, now that the election's over, they're not even trying to hide who's really running the country anymore." —Jay Leno
"Bush is trying to sell his $1.6 trillion tax cut for rich people. I don't know if he's the guy to sell this, because reporters asked him if he wanted the tax cut to be retroactive and he said, 'No, because then only Superman could touch it.'" —Bill Maher


Friday, January 1, 2016

New Year's Haiku





Jeb looks just awful
W is a big cross to bear
a heavy brother

Jeb not the smart one?
W. banned from the convention
Repudiation

Jeb at 4 per cent
Bush name repudiation
Mission Accomplished

W. is banned again
maybe fourth time will be charm
repudiation

Trump scapegoats Muslims
and Carly sees baby parts,
is Carson sleeping?