drunker than a ship captain in the Suez Canal (You got this, right?)

“Joe Biden’s press conference. It was quite the event. If you did a

shot every time Biden said, ‘Look, folks,’ you got drunker than

a ship captain in the Suez Canal.” —Jimmy Fallon

“There were a lot of questions today about immigration after

Biden announced that Vice President Harris will be overseeing

the challenges at the U.S.-Mexico border. It’s similar to how

Trump put Pence in charge of handling the pandemic. When

the going get tough, presidents are like, ‘You got this, right?’”

—Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's all fun and games until Hunter Biden gets his head stuck in the vending machine (Or as the Jedi call him, Obi-Wan Where Am I?)

So Joe Biden’s the man. That's right, the fate of the earth rests on Joe Biden. The forces of light will be represented by Mr. Joe Biden. Or as the Jedi call him, Obi-Wan Where Am I? —Bill Maher

Did you see what Elon Musk did? I thought this was pretty funny. Right after he bought Twitter he said that he was going to buy Coca-Cola next and put cocaine back in it. Which is all fun and games until Hunter Biden gets his head stuck in the vending machine. —Bill Maher

Donald Trump said he had a hunch that the virus wasn't as bad as the World Health Organization says. So on one side you have the World Health Organization, and on the other side you have a guy who stared at an eclipse. —Bill Maher (2020)

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Can we make one of those missiles president? (You mean George Washington's real last name was Mar-A-Lago Golf Course?)

Some more news about the President just came out that during

a trip to George Washington's home in Mount Vernon, Trump

was amazed that Washington didn't name the property after

himself. This is real. Trump said, "if Washington was smart,

he would've put his name on it. You've got to put your name

on stuff or no one remembers you." When a staffer said, "Sir,

where you live is named after him." Trump was like, "You mean

George Washington's real last name was Mar-A-Lago Golf

Course?" --Jimmy Fallon

On Twitter this morning, Trump threatened Russia with missiles that are "nice and smart." And Americans were like, "Can we make one of those missiles president?" --Jimmy Fallon

Researchers in California found that 74 percent of mothers confessed that they like one child better than another. Then one mother said, “Don’t use my name, 'cuz I don't want Jeb to find out.” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

under Florida law, students are required to wait for teachers to make the first move (O.K. Double or nothing)

November 2022

The U.S. Air Force is denying that its pilots intentionally flew a flight path that created a giant penis pointed at Russia. Even worse, they then fired missiles. —Colin Jost

A ten year old boy in Florida faces misdemeanor battery charges after he touched a teacher’s breast. Because under Florida law, students are required to wait for teachers to make the first move. —Colin Jost

Nearly half a billion dollars was spent in California on campaigns aimed at legalizing sports gambling online, but they failed by a wide margin. Said supporters of the bill, O.K. Double or nothing. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

My response to anyone who says I have to unify behind corruption (Now they blame professional hockey)

"This Taepo-Dong could be horrific. Millions could die from this Dong. A veritable Dongocaust. By creating lethal weapons with very silly names, they're making their growing military might seem hilariously innocuous. And you know our president -- you mention Taepo Dong at a national security briefing, and he's taking a two-hour ride on the giggle train. It's not just the Taepo-Dong. Did you know Kim's working on a neutron explosive that burns you from the inside out, leaving you a charred husk of flesh? It's called Long Fat ****. Worst of all, when it blows up, it spreads a deadly biochemical cream of sum yung guy." --Daily Show correspondent Rob Corddry

"It's sad, really. I mean, I remember a time when the CIA would assassinate heads of state, install puppet governments. If you wanted a coup, they were number one on your speed dial. Nowadays, most mental patients don't even think the CIA are the ones who put microchips in their brain. Don't think they can pull it off. Now they blame professional hockey. It's just embarrassing." --Daily Show correspondent Samantha Bee

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But the bad news is THAT CAN HAPPEN! (That's amazing when you can get to that level)

The Cuban government recently returned a missing U.S. missile that was sent to Europe for training, but was accidentally shipped to Cuba. So the good news is that the missile was returned to America. But the bad news is THAT CAN HAPPEN! –Jimmy Fallon

Check this out. Over the weekend, Trump's pick to be the next U.N. ambassador withdrew herself from consideration. You’ve got to hand it to Trump -- his administration is running so smoothly, that his staff are now firing themselves. That's amazing when you can get to that level. --Jimmy Fallon

There are rumors that Russia’s compiling a psychological profile on Trump to help Putin get inside his head. You know, it’s so hard to get Trump to open up and talk about himself. He keeps a lot of stuff private. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”