How the hell did you manage to lose money running a casino? (A Bug's Life)

President Trump today met several Native American tribal leaders. They had a lot of questions for the president, such as, "How the hell did you manage to lose money running a casino?" –Seth Meyers

 Spirit Airlines recently gave a family 21 years of free travel after a mother went into labor and gave birth mid-flight. Though they probably should have given those free flights to the guy sitting next to her. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

It's about keeping those ants in line (You know, I’m good up here)

U.S. astronaut Scott Kelly is about to return to Earth after spending an entire year in space. Then he saw Donald Trump’s poll numbers and said, "You know, I’m good up here." –Conan O’Brien

President Obama said that his very first job was scooping ice cream. After hearing this, Chris Christie said, "I thought he looked familiar." –Conan O’Brien

The latest polls show Donald Trump beating Marco Rubio in Rubio’s home state of Florida by 16 points. To win back Florida voters, Rubio has started doing meth. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Now go leave the knife on the counter and go take a sexy shower upstairs (the five stages of Republican grief)

November 2022

“In the least surprising plot twist ever, a woman who ran on a platform of denying election results is now denying her election results. Donald Trump acolyte Kari Lake, officially lost her close race for Arizona governor on Monday. In a way, I bet she’s relieved that she lost. Because if she won, then what? She would’ve had to deny herself? It would’ve shattered her reality.” —Trevor Noah

“This is a lot for Kari Lake, so please, please, let’s give her some space as she goes through the five stages of Republican grief: denial, denial, denial, pooping in Nancy Pelosi’s office, and denial.” —Trevor Noah

“Lake’s loss confirmed that no election deniers won a governor or secretary of state position in a swing state, which is huge for democracy. This is just like in those horror films when they kill the monster, and then he never comes back again. You did it Democrats! Now go leave the knife on the counter and go take a sexy shower upstairs.” —Trevor Noah

“With the midterms finally over, it’s time for the parties to govern. Nah, I’m shitting you, that’s not going to happen. It’s actually time for the parties to campaign for the next election. I don’t know why, but America loves to campaign. It’s like seeing someone who’s only interested in foreplay.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Unless you think it means Probably Three Secret Daughters (keeping the ants in line)

October 2022

“There have been complaints about lighting during the latest episode of House of the Dragon, HBO’s prequel series to juggernaut Game of Thrones. After many viewers expressed their disappointment with dark lighting in pivotal scenes, making it difficult to see, HBO Max tweeted that the ‘dim lighting of this scene was an intentional creative decision’. Look, I’m not Steven Spielberg or Barry Jenkins, I haven’t directed anything. But in my opinion, if your intentional creative decision is that people can’t see the TV show that you’re making, then you’re making a podcast, all right?” —Trevor Noah

“There is a trend of dimness on prestige television. Everything on TV is so dark. You can’t see anything. I don’t know why. Are they trying to make it grittier? Or are they trying to make it feel like a movie? Maybe they figure if they make it dark enough, we can’t complain about the cast not being diverse. HBO has faced backlash for the lighting choices, but I think if they’re smart about this, this could be a good business opportunity for them. They should just add a higher price tier, such as offering HBO Max at $9.99 a month – or $14.99 a month if you want to be able to see what the fuck is happening.” —Trevor Noah

“In other news, GOP commentator Newt Gingrich went on Fox News to defend Herschel Walker, the anti-abortion Senate candidate in Georgia who was recently revealed to have paid for his then-girlfriend’s abortion in 2009. Gingrich defended Walker’s fitness as a Republican candidate: He’s been through a long, tough period. He had a lot of concussions coming out of football, he suffered PTSD. See? Walker isn’t a bad guy! He’s just had so many concussions he can’t possibly be held accountable for his actions. You know, a senator. Also PTSD isn’t the acronym you’re looking for, Newt. Unless you think it means Probably Three Secret Daughters.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The meanest thing he’s ever said up till now (It's about keeping those ants in line)

January 2022

“The Democrats voting rights legislation, is mired by a GOP filibuster in the Senate. The chamber’s Democrats plan to press ahead this week with an effort to pass the legislation, even though it appears, according to the New York Times, ‘all but dead’.

 Come on, guys, don’t give up the fight! Do not get discouraged – in the Senate, there are a lot of things that appear all but dead, (cut to a photo of Mitch McConnell, Chuck Grassley and other elderly senators.) Democrats plan to push ahead with a vote anyway to put on record who’s for and against voting rights. 

That’s right, because once you know which politicians are keeping you from being able to vote, you can vote them out – and, I see the problem. That’s a toughie. The GOP filibuster of critical voting rights protection has drawn the ire of even musician Stevie Wonder, who this week released a scathing YouTube video calling on Republicans senators to ‘cut the bull-tish.’ 

I want to thank Stevie Wonder for standing up for democracy and swearing in a way I can air on my CBS television show. You, sir, are one bad mother-trucker. Senators, you know how hard it is to make Stevie Wonder that angry? The meanest thing he’s ever said up till now is ‘you’re just my part-time lover.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry