Romney celebrated by going to a victory party and turning the music down (Do you know what that means?!)

Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy announced he is retiring today. “Do you know what that means?!” said Trump, who was REALLY asking. --Seth Meyers

Mitt Romney won last night’s Utah Republican Senate primary. Romney celebrated by going to a victory party and turning the music down. --Seth Meyers

Urban Outfitters and Anthropologie are rolling out a new payment program which allows online shoppers to pay in installments later rather than in full, called Afterpay. Not to be confused with the program they have at Taco Bell, where you always pay for it later. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

In fact today, Vice President Dick Cheney shot Cupid in the face (Oh My God!!! We're you hurt?)

"Presidential candidate Tom Vilsack . . . not a lot of name recognition. I don't want to say that Tom is unknown, but his secret service codename is Tom Vilsack." --Jay Leno

"Al-Qaeda released another video tape from their No. 2 man. This one had a shocking revelation: "The great Satan will soon taste unspeakable suffering from our hands . . . Oh, and by the way, I am the father of Anna Nicole's baby." --Jay Leno

"It's hard to believe the No. 1 story, bigger than Iraq, Iran, the social life of Britney Spears, is still Anna Nicole Smith. CNN has officially changed their name this week to CN-Anna." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Even in Washington, everybody's into Valentine's Day. In fact today, Vice President Dick Cheney shot Cupid in the face." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Maybe I'm a dreamer (I support lesbian independence for all)

"Anna Nicole Smith won her case in front of the Supreme Court. I think this is the first time that a bunch of old guys have given her something and lived to tell about it." --Jay Leno

"In a speech yesterday, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he 'supports lessening our dependence on foreign oil.' Unfortunately, it came out sounding more like, 'I support lesbian independence for all.'" --Conan O'Brien

"According to the military, they got al-Zarqawi while he was hiding in his safe house. As a result, it's been renamed the 'not-so-safe house.'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the most embarrassing thing to happen to the Bush administration -- today (There goes the Republican health care plan)

"The deputy secretary for the Department of Homeland Security was arrested after he tried to seduce a 14-year-old girl online, who was actually an undercover detective. I think the terror alert has been raised to creepy. Homeland Security? We need home room security. This is the most embarrassing thing to happen to the Bush administration -- today." --Jay Leno

"They're still calling it a correction. I love this. When CEOs make bad decisions that cause Wall Street to crash, oh, it's called a correction. You know what we should do? Take these people and put them in a correctional institute. That's what we should do." --Jay Leno

"A new study involving 1800 patients and six major hospitals failed to prove the healing power of prayer. They said prayer does not work in healing. There goes the Republican health care plan." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I wish mental health care were as easy to get as, say, a gun (super gonorrhea)

President Trump canceled his summit with Kim Jong Un, saying it’s because of Kim’s "open hostility." Trump said, "I will not tolerate hostility from a fat-faced little Rocket Man." --Conan O’Brien

Doctors are now warning about the spread of something they are calling "super gonorrhea." It’s hard to believe that now the cool thing to say to a woman in a bar is, “It’s OK, I only have regular gonorrhea." --Conan O’Brien

A new report says that the U.S. military is running out of bombs. As of now, the Pentagon is down to 100 bunker busters and six copies of "The Emoji Movie." --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one (Yours in Crazy)

Froot Loops cereal has added a new flavor, Wild Berry. People who tried the new flavor say it tastes like “wild berries, plus sugar, minus wild berries." --Conan O’Brien

President Trump informed Kim Jong Un that he was canceling their summit by sending Kim a personal letter. The disturbing part is Trump signed the letter, "Yours in Crazy." --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

we know it by it's other name, Murphy's Law (Bill Gates and 35 Oprahs)

"Well, in the Gibson interview, a lot of people thought Charlie Gibson was unfair to Sarah Palin, thought he was talking down to her. That was one of the comments. Like when he asked about the so-called Bush doctrine? Most people are not familiar with the Bush doctrine, right? Well, we are. Well, we are, we know it by it's other name, Murphy's Law." --Jay Leno

"Last night, John McCain said that under the Democratic health care plan, a bureaucrat would stand between you and your doctor, as opposed to the Republican health care plan, where an accountant would stand between you and your health care." -Jay Leno

"Yesterday, the federal government announced a massive plan to bail out a number of banking institutions. One expert said it might cost Americans more than a trillion dollars. To put that in perspective, ten Bill Gates and 35 Oprahs still don't add up to a trillion dollars." --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”