He only started to cheat on his wife after he started to hang out with the wrong crowd (He says he was doing the hokey-pokey)

 

"Boy, did you hear those audio tapes? Larry Craig said he put his right foot in, then he took his right foot out, then he put his left foot in and he shook it all about. He says he was doing the hokey-pokey." --Jay Leno

"The darling of the religious right, conservative Senator David Vitter of Louisiana, has not only admitted to having sex with prostitutes, he would pay them $300 to make him wear diapers. And today that crazy astronaut called him 'my dream guy! He's got my vote.'" --Jay Leno

"Sen. Russ Feingold, who I believe is running for president, said over the weekend he's pushing the Senate to censure the president over spying. Bush, he isn't worried about it, he knew it was coming. He'd been listening to Feingold's conversations for the last three months." --Jay Leno

 

"Today, David Vitter put out a statement saying he only started to cheat on his wife after he started to hang out with the wrong crowd, you know -- Giuliani, Newt Gingrich, the mayor of L.A." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation (going out with hookers)

"John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation." –Stephen Colbert

"Tonight, we will be riding a gnarly GOP barrel all the way to tax cut beach!" –Stephen Colbert

"John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. It is the highest elected office ever to be reached by an Orange-American." –Daily Show correspondent Olivia Munn

"Russ Feingold was defeated for having progressive values. In Louisiana, David Vitter has absolutely destroyed his challenger by going out with hookers." – Jon Stewart, on America's priorities

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

something they will have to think about for their entire five-week summer vacation (That Face You Make, pt. 3)

    

"I saw so many things. Lindsey Graham heroically continuing to talk, even though he kinda, sorta had to pee. Russ Feingold bravely throwing himself on a bucket of wings he saw headed towards Ted Kennedy. And then, of course, a moment I'll never forget. At four a.m., senators from both parties rushing to prevent a stack of empty pizza boxes from toppling ... a scene already immortalized in pewter by the Franklin Mint. Yes, the soldiers stationed in Iraq don't realize how lucky they are to have senators like these staying up all night. For you it was one night, but this is something they will have to think about for their entire five-week summer vacation." --Daily Show correspondent Aasif Mandvi

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulse #collectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Despot, madman, husband, father? He will be, uh, buried (Abu Ghraib)

"Did you folks see 'The Sopranos' last night? Fans had to wait two years, two years for a new episode. Apparently the show's now being produced by FEMA." --David Letterman

"Sen. Russ Feingold, who I believe is running for president, said over the weekend he's pushing the Senate to censure the president over spying. Bush, he isn't worried about it, he knew it was coming. He'd been listening to Feingold's conversations for the last three months." --Jay Leno

"The United States is closing Abu Ghraib prison. This'll probably put the one-hour photo shop across the street out of business." --Jay Leno

"On Saturday at the Hague, Slobodan Milosevic died. Despot, madman, husband, father? He will be, uh, buried." --Jon Stewart

"Do you think it's too soon to be hitting on Mrs. Milosevic?" --David Letterman

Snap! Censure! A moral condemnation of the president so severe it's only happened once before

"Snap! Censure! A moral condemnation of the president so severe it's only happened once before to President Andrew Jackson, who was never heard from again. Oh, wait [picture of the $20 bill]." --Jon Stewart, on Sen. Russ Feingold's motion to censure President Bush 

"First Lady Laura Bush said she started exercising when she married President Bush because it was already part of his lifestyle. Isn't that nice? Yeah, that also explains why she stopped reading." --Conan O'Brien

"People in Utah are very upset with HBO because of the show that follows "The Sopranos" called "Big Love." It's about a man in Utah who has three families and seven kids with three different wives. Didn't that used to be called the NBA?" --Jay Leno

They have cancelled their wedding in the Florida Keys (Don't Just Lay There)

"Tempers are running really high in Washington about a lot of issues. Yesterday, Senator Arlen Specter and Senator Russ Feingold got into a shouting match over the issue of gay marriage. As a result, Specter and Feingold have cancelled their wedding in the Florida Keys." --Conan O'Brien

"Bill Clinton is writing a book designed to encourage Americans to become more active in their communities. Clinton's book is called 'Don't Just Lay There.'" --Conan O'Brien

 "Remember the president of the Teamsters, Jimmy Hoffa? Well, he vanished and there were all these rumors and stories and myths about where he may be buried. It turns out now that the FBI got a tip and now they're looking everywhere for Jimmy Hoffa. Everywhere. The FBI is looking everywhere. And I'm thinking, 'that's great, but what about Osama bin Laden?'" --David Letterman