Beyoncé showed up and handed Ripa a baseball bat

After being blind-sided by Michael Strahan’s upcoming departure, Kelly Ripa returned to “Live with Kelly and Michael” today, where the co-anchors were reunited. The reunion was going great, until Beyoncé showed up and handed Ripa a baseball bat. –Jimmy Fallon

Happy birthday to Melania Trump, who turned 46 today. She spent her birthday like she always does — telling Donald that she's 23. –Jimmy Fallon

Over the weekend, Hillary Clinton called Donald Trump a loose cannon and said, “Loose cannons tend to misfire.” Trump was like, “My cannon works just fine, I guarantee you, there’s no problem. I’ve already discussed this.” –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/03/hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015-volume-1_23.html

It's the same philosophy that Mitt has in regard to paying taxes

"Mitt Romney was here meeting with the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. He's looking for a housekeeper for his place in La Jolla." –Jimmy Kimmel



"Mitt Romney was on 'Live With Kelly and Michael.' At one point Mitt was asked what he wears to bed. He said as little as possible. It's the same philosophy that Mitt has in regard to paying taxes." –Jimmy Kimmel 



"Mitt also admitted on the show that his guilty pleasures are peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and chocolate milk. Even his guilty pleasures are boring." –Jimmy Kimmel 

George W. Bush would know what to do

"A lot of Republicans are blaming Obama for all of this unrest in the Middle East. Right, you know what, if we were attacked in Egypt, Libya, and Yemen, George Bush would know what to do. Invade Iraq." –Bill Maher



"Mitt Romney went on live with Kelly and Michael and tried to answer these hardball questions. He was asked what he wears to bed. He said, 'as little as possible." Wow, there's a switch, Romney giving too much information." –Bill Maher



"He told us all about their sex life. Sometimes he and Ann turn off the lights and play 'find my tax returns.'" –Bill Maher