who better to turn to than the guy who invaded the wrong country (but only if he can bring his assistant, Egor)

"Now, we can't keep Cheney quiet. He's talking about maybe running for president in 2012. And he says he's willing to return to the White House, he'll go back to the White House, but only if he can bring his assistant, Egor." --David Letterman

"It's interesting what former presidents do when they leave office. Bush is now working as a motivational speaker. And if you want to be motivated, who better to turn to than the guy who invaded the wrong country and started a depression." -David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They said they would have given the same treatment to any minority (We're going to attack you, but first you should eat)

"So, I don't know if this is a case of racism. The police in Cambridge say it had nothing to do with Professor Gates being black. They said they would have given the same treatment to any minority." --Bill Maher

Joe Biden is getting on in years, come on. When he has weird sex his safe word is speak up. --Bill Maher

"Before the incursion that started yesterday the Israeli's agreed to a five hour cease fire so the Palestinians could get supplies and food - how Jewish is that? 'We're going to attack you, but first you should eat.'" –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

All right, fine, I am a Muslim (I'm going to need a raise)

January 2013

"President Obama's half-brother is running for political office in Kenya. Donald Trump has already accused him of being born in the United States." –Conan O’Brien

"President Obama is coming under criticism that his new administration has less diversity than his first one. Which is why this morning Obama said, 'All right, fine, I am a Muslim." –Conan O'Brien

"The Golden Globes last night had a lot of great moments. During Jodie Foster's emotional speech she said she was gay, 50, and friends with Mel Gibson. Afterwards, her publicist told Jodie, 'I'm going to need a raise.'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

pockets/New Mexicans/six years old/What is TAKING so long?!

It’s been reported that the head of security for the TSA has been officially removed from his position. That’s right, he was told to turn in his badge, his uniform, his shoes, his belt, his keys, bottles over 4 ounces, his laptop, and any coins in his pockets. (I repeat! There should be NOTHING IN HIS POCKETS!) –Jimmy Fallon

I saw that today, Donald Trump held a big rally in New Mexico. Which is weird, since he’s spent his whole campaign promising to ban NEW Mexicans. –Jimmy Fallon

Trump criticized Hillary Clinton over the weekend, claiming that her views are “just words” read off a teleprompter. But Hillary denied it, saying, “I’ve had these speeches memorized since I was six.” –Jimmy Fallon

Helen Hunt posted a photo on Twitter to show that her Starbucks barista wrote “Jody” on her cup because she thought she was Jodie Foster. Meanwhile, Jodie Foster is still at that same Starbucks going, “Where the hell is my damn coffee? What is TAKING so long?!” –Jimmy Fallon