Trump's war on America (please God let him be talking about a chocolate Easter Bunny)

I feel the same way about slaves as I do about shirts with flame patterns on them. I don't want to be friends with anyone who owns either of them. —Norm Macdonald

I was in a line today and I hear the guy behind me say, ‘I like to start by biting the ears off’ and I had to pray, please God let him be talking about a chocolate Easter Bunny. —Norm Macdonald

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

this Sunday you're probably going to see a giant bunny (It was actually my wife’s idea)

"This year's Easter Sunday happens to fall on the same day as the marijuana holiday, 4/20. Which means no matter what your religion, this Sunday you're probably going to see a giant bunny." –Conan O'Brien

It was reported today that President Trump has been pushing for women's health programs that are based on abstinence. Trump said, "It was actually my wife’s idea…" --Conan O’Brien

Yesterday, Donald Trump threatened to send federal troops to Chicago. The weird part is, not the city, the band Chicago. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Smash that like button (Unplug me)

"Newt Gingrich gave a speech at a senior center. Or as audience members put it, 'Unplug me.'" –Jimmy Fallon

“I saw that Pope Francis will be streaming Easter Mass on YouTube. You know these are strange times when Easter Mass ends with ‘Be sure to like and subscribe. Smash that like button.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You both historically care deeply about the same thing (It’s never great when someone says...)

 

There have been public clashes between Donald Trump and Pope Leo XIV, which began when the pope delivered a beautiful, compassionate message for the Easter holiday calling for peace around the world. It does not come into my brain that anyone in the world hearing the Pope’s message of peace will have some kind of weird problem with it. Except for Trump, who posted on his social media website Truth Social that the leader of the Catholic church was “weak” and a “loser”. I am really starting to sour on this president. Look, President Trump, I know the Vatican’s been critical of your policies, but you gotta remember that at the end of the day you and the Catholic church both historically care deeply about the same thing – covering up sex scandals. —Jon Stewart

President Trump has criticized the pope, whom he has called a “loser”. According to one Italian religious historian, not even Hitler or Mussolini attacked the pope so directly and publicly. It’s never great when someone says, ‘You should really be more discreet and respectful. You know, like Hitler.’ —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 
and Orwell’s 1984.”
 

Hillary Clinton was invited, but she left everyone hanging (sad, low energy losers)

Today was the annual Easter egg hunt on the White House lawn. Donald Trump congratulated the winners and declared the other kids sad, low energy losers. —Greg Gutfeld

Over the weekend, 45 people showed up in Washington Square Park for the Epstein Easter egg hunt. Hillary Clinton was invited, but she left everyone hanging. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the only person Trump has ever trusted to handle the Epstein situation is a prison guard with the cameras off (37.7%)

President Trump addressed the nation about the war with Iran and threatened to "bring them back to the Stone Age where they belong.” And in the spirit of Easter, let me just say... Jesus Christ! —Colin Jost

This week, Attorney General Pam Bondi was asked to redact herself from her job. President Trump reportedly fired Bondi over her handling of the Epstein files... because the only person Trump has ever trusted to handle the Epstein situation is a prison guard with the cameras off. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So good news, my dad can fly out for Easter after all (It’s all part of Oregon’s “right to die” law)

According to a study, being a new mother is the equivalent of working two and a half full-time jobs. And, even worse, the boss is constantly grabbing for your breasts. --Conan O’Brien

After causing a huge controversy, United Airlines now says it will allow any paying passenger to wear leggings. So good news, my dad can fly out for Easter after all. –Conan O’Brien

A woman in Oregon who was hospitalized for E. coli after eating Chipotle is suing the company for free Chipotle. It’s all part of Oregon’s “right to die” law. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It was actually my wife’s idea… (...this is all you need to know)

"This year's Easter Sunday happens to fall on the same day as the marijuana holiday, 4/20. Which means no matter what your religion, this Sunday you're probably going to see a giant bunny." –Conan O'Brien

It was reported today that President Trump has been pushing for women's health programs that are based on abstinence. Trump said, "It was actually my wife’s idea…" --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What are the chances that Trump declares himself pope? (It’s the pope version of a mic drop)

Pope Francis, who seemed to be a kind and humble man died at 88. Francis had endured months of poor health, but he sucked it up, he rallied, he delivered a message at Easter mass, and then he passed away this morning. Is there anything more Catholic than waiting until Monday to die so you don’t upstage Jesus Christ? I don’t think there is. It’s the pope version of a mic drop, really. —Jimmy Kimmel

What are the chances that Trump declares himself pope? They’re not zero. —Jimmy Kimmel

Naturally, Trump also used the opportunity to claim that he was “bringing religion back” in America. Seems notable to mention that the guy who is bringing religion back did not go to church yesterday. He took a mulligan on mass this year and instead played golf at his own club outside Washington DC. Trump spent his Easter praising Jesus on the golf course. He’s never closer to God than when he’s out there on the grass cheating at golf with his friends. —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That's more of a second date question (He then deported the Easter Bunny to El Salvador)

Maryland Senator Chris Van Holland told CNN he never asked Garcia if he was a gang member during their meeting. Which is fair. That's more of a second date question. —Greg Gutfeld

On Easter Sunday President Trump wrote "Happy Easter to all including the radical left lunatics bringing murderers drug lords, dangerous prisoners, the mentally insane and MS-13 gang members and wife beaters back into our country." He then deported the Easter Bunny to El Salvador. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is from the Journal of Who Gives a Sh*t (Easter eggs/smiling)

Easter eggs are so expensive Americans are dying potatoes instead. Speaking of dying potatoes, Rosie O’Donnell is still in Ireland. —Greg Gutfeld

According to a new study monkeys are better yodelers than humans. This is from the Journal of Who Gives a Sh*t. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Get ready to start hunting Swedish meatballs (screaming into an empty McMuffin)

“I never thought I’d live in a time where there’d be surge pricing on eggs. This is going to be a tough Easter, kids. Get ready to start hunting Swedish meatballs.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“Can you imagine if Joe Biden was still president and there weren’t any eggs in the store? Trump would be screaming into an empty McMuffin right now.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

you're probably going to see a giant bunny (It was actually my wife’s idea)

"This year's Easter Sunday happens to fall on the same day as the marijuana holiday, 4/20. Which means no matter what your religion, this Sunday you're probably going to see a giant bunny." –Conan O'Brien

It was reported today that President Trump has been pushing for women's health programs that are based on abstinence. Trump said, "It was actually my wife’s idea…" --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The price of a Big Mac (Who’s Hitler?)

SpaceX is planning to build a Mars rocket right here in Los Angeles. The voyage to Mars will take nine months, but eight of those months will be spent just getting out of L.A. --Conan O’Brien

At today’s Easter Egg Roll, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer read a book to children. Afterwards, all the kids had the same question: “Who’s Hitler?” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I love hunting peasants (Smash that like button)

"George W. Bush and Bill Clinton sat next to each other at the big game. Clinton congratulated UConn on its big win, while Bush gave Kentucky a 'Mission Accomplished' banner." –Jimmy Fallon

“I saw that Pope Francis will be streaming Easter Mass on YouTube. You know these are strange times when Easter Mass ends with ‘Be sure to like and subscribe. Smash that like button.’” —Jimmy Fallon

I heard that a couple weeks ago, Rick Santorum and Ted Cruz spent some time hunting pheasants in Iowa. When Donald Trump heard that, he was like, “Why wasn’t I invited? I love hunting peasants.” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it’s all about the journey, man! (hold me closer, Tony Danza)

At a Donald Trump rally in Oklahoma, Sarah Palin called President Obama a “weak-kneed capitulator in chief." When asked if she knows what a capitulator is, she said, "Of course I do — it's one of those worms that turns into a butterfly!" –Jimmy Fallon

Two guys in Minnesota were pulled over with almost 500 pounds of weed in their car. You could tell it was a lot, ’cuz even their GPS was like, “Forget about the destination – it’s all about the journey, man!” --Jimmy Fallon

Elton John just announced that he is going to retire after his next world tour. There's gonna be a dramatic moment at the end where he admits that the lyrics really ARE “hold me closer, Tony Danza.”  --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And let's not forget those delicious marshmallow peeps (I reject your reality)

"In a speech President Bush accidentally referred to the Senate immigration bill as the Senate energy bill. Afterwards, the president apologized for his mistake and reminded everyone to support our brave troops in Norway." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday was a historic day. Everyone marked it in different ways. A Kenyan woman gave birth to twin boys and named them Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. Obviously she named the one that came out second Mitt Romney." –Conan O'Brien

"President Bush issued an Easter proclamation that said, 'This is a season of renewal and for remembering that hope overcomes despair.' Then he said, 'And let's not forget those delicious marshmallow peeps.'" --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Smash that like button (an unfortunate development)

Hillary Clinton also said that when Vladimir Putin heard Angela Merkel is scared of dogs, he brought one to a meeting with her. Which explains why at his next meeting with Donald Trump, Putin will bring a treadmill. --Jimmy Fallon

In an interview last week, Hillary Clinton called Donald Trump's candidacy “an unfortunate development.” Incidentally, “an unfortunate development” is also what Trump says when his wives turn 40. –Jimmy Fallon

“I saw that Pope Francis will be streaming Easter Mass on YouTube. You know these are strange times when Easter Mass ends with ‘Be sure to like and subscribe. Smash that like button.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

To give you an idea how big this bailout is, they actually had to tell President Bush about it (Was there anyone else there at the time?)

"And Osama bin Laden has released another anti-American speech. And out of force of habit, Barack Obama denounced the remarks and said he wasn't even in the room at the time the statements were being made." --Jay Leno

"Yesterday was the beginning of Passover, or as President Bush calls it, 'The Jewish Easter.' You all know the story: Moses crossed the border with thousands of people. He wandered the desert for 40 years. No, I'm sorry that's the Republicans' plan for illegal immigrants." –Jay Leno

"Well, as you know, this past weekend, the government announced a massive bailout of mortgage lenders, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. To give you an idea how big this bailout is, they actually had to tell President Bush about it." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It's to keep them from being high-fived to death (the only thing she's been working on is an escape tunnel)

"The identity of the Navy Seals that killed Osama bin Laden is being kept secret. It's for their own safety. It's to keep them from being high-fived to death." –Jimmy Kimmel

"A CNN poll showed that 61 percent of Americans think bin Laden is in hell. The other 39 percent think he's in superhell." –Jimmy Kimmel

This event is officially hosted by the first lady every year. Melania Trump joined the president on the balcony to get things going. Trump said, “I want to really thank the first lady, Melania. She worked so hard on this event.” Not a chance she did one thing to set that up. She didn't dye eggs, she didn’t fill baskets — the only thing she's been working on is an escape tunnel. --Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”