It's not what it looks like (even if you don't eat the fried chicken, it will still find a way to kill you)

Police say a Texas man stabbed his roommate this weekend during a fight over a piece of fried chicken. So even if you don't eat the fried chicken, it will still find a way to kill you. –Seth Meyers

Mountain goats in Washington state are being airlifted out of Olympic National Park after their population developed a craving for human urine. Said the scientist who made the discovery, "It's not what it looks like." --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They're made out of people who ask too many questions (we all know how much dogs hate doin' it)

"North Korea has confirmed that Kim Jong Un has fired his uncle. Unemployment benefits in North Korea include two weeks' severance and not being shot." –Conan O'Brien

Researchers at Cornell have successfully bred the first puppies in a test tube. Which is great, because we all know how much dogs hate doin' it. –Conan O’Brien

"McDonald's released a new video showing how it makes their Chicken McNuggets. Apparently it turns out that McNuggets aren't made out of chicken. They're made out of people who ask too many questions." –Conan O'Brien

"Scientists say they're getting closer to developing a pill to replace exercising. Americans heard this and said that it better come in cool ranch flavor." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Why don’t we give everyone a quarter? (oh goodness, no)

June 2022

“A recent poll found that the biggest drop in support for Biden was among young voters, although to Biden, I’m pretty sure a young voter is just a voter. Then Biden said ‘OK, so this means I’m doing OK with older voters?’ and his staff was like, ‘oh goodness, no.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“The White House is considering a temporary suspension of the federal gas tax. Take your time, gang. You can tell the president is on the older side when he’s like ‘why don’t we give everyone a quarter?’” —Jimmy Fallon

“And the stock market is in its biggest freefall since the start of the pandemic. Right now the ticker on CNBC is just showing the lyrics to Everybody Hurts.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Finally, there was a new Guinness world record set for largest chicken nugget, which involved 40 pounds of ground chicken, 20 slices of white bread and 40 eggs. At that point, they’re really taking liberty with the word nugget. They made a chicken cake.” —Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”