he's a follower of the bearded radical from the Middle East (the strategic use of beer)

"Congratulations to Barack Obama -- he has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. Apparently, the Nobel committee wanted to recognize the president's fine work in bringing peace to a black professor and a white cop through the strategic use of beer. " --Jay Leno

"Yesterday President Obama told voters that he's a Christian. But you see how Fox News reported it? They said Obama admits he's a follower of the bearded radical from the Middle East." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

 “A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

If you’re looking to buy a hotdog from a woman in a G-string, Florida is the place you want to be (That’s a bit much!)

The idea that Trump voted by mail at the same time he tried to ram this ‘save my fat orange ass’ act through Congress right now, which is a bill that would do away with mail-in ballots, has put leaders in the GOP in a bit of a pickle. Asked about this latest act of brazen hypocrisy, Mike Johnson, the Republican speaker of the House, attempted to sidestep. “I think some states have handled mail-in voting well,” he said. “I think Florida is a good example of that. They don’t allow fraud, they’ve got great systems. That is not true in other parts of the country,” like California. Listen, I’ve lived in both states, and the only thing Florida does better is get manatees addicted to meth, all right? If you’re looking to buy a hotdog from a woman in a G-string, Florida is the place you want to be. —Jimmy Kimmel

There are reports that Pentagon officials provided Trump with daily “sizzle reels” of military strikes in Iran to boost his mood. Just step back and think about this: every day, they’re bringing him these fun little action movies of us blowing stuff up. Everyone’s telling him how great he’s doing. He’s got four whole cable networks dedicated to kissing his ass 24/7. His staff is terrified to ever bring him any bad news, and he has the memory of a worm at the bottom of a bottle of mezcal. And this is the man in charge of sending our children to war – at least the ones whose dads don’t have a good podiatrist to get them out of it. Our own government is making war propaganda videos for the person running the war. Even Kim Jong-un is like, ‘That’s a bit much!’ —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I ain't draft dodging, I ain't burning no flag (steampunk cowboy pirate/Oops-a-karma!)

November 2022

“We are celebrating the conviction of Stewart Rhodes, founder of the Oath Keepers, for seditious conspiracy. That’s a big one. That’s insurrection with a creamy treason center right there. Delicious.” —Stephen Colbert

“Rhodes faces a maximum of 60 years in prison. On the bright side, by 2082 the hip new look might be steampunk cowboy pirate.” —Stephen Colbert referring to Rhodes’s preferred fashion of bandanna, cowboy hat and eye patch

“Now when you hear the name Oath Keepers and that eye patch, it makes Rhodes sorta seem like a heroic freedom rebel. In reality, he’s a disbarred Yale law grad who wears an eyepatch after accidentally shooting himself in the face with his own gun. Oops-a-karma!” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

All that serves labor serves the nation (God loves us and wants us to be happy)

I was diagnosed as color blind. It came completely out of the green. --Anonymous

I talk to myself a lot, and it bothers other people because I use a megaphone. —Anonymous

Don't eat clowns. They taste funny.--Anonymous

The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.--Anonymous

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." –Benjamin Franklin

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s the spookiest Halloween ever – trick or treason, it’s a boo d’etat! (Privilege)

October 2022

“We cheered the House committee’s subpoena for Trump. And to make sure the former president reads the subpoena, it’s being printed on the wrapper of a Gordita Supreme.” —Stephen Colbert

“The committee’s evidence demonstrated that Trump and his associates were already planning to lie about the election results as early as October 31st. That’s the spookiest Halloween ever – trick or treason, it’s a boo d’etat!” —Stephen Colbert

“Such evidence included audio of Steve Bannon saying, on 31 October 2020: ‘And what Trump’s gonna do is he’s going to declare victory … he’s gonna sit right there and say they stole it … If Biden is winning, Trump is going to do some crazy shit.’ Usually when you hear someone lay out an evil plan that baldly, James Bond is strapped to a table with a laser pointed at his balls.” —Stephen Colbert

“Can you imagine Donald Trump complying with a subpoena from the January 6 committee? It will be fascinating to see what happens with the Trump subpoena, but it was definitely necessary. The reason why it’s so important to investigate the last coup attempt is because the next one is already under way.” —Stephen Colbert

“Meanwhile, Trump has been on the midterm campaign trail and bragged about the crowd size of the mob on January 6th. Trump’s out there, on camera, in front of a microphone bragging about the size of the crowd of an attempted violent coup for which he is under multiple criminal investigations currently. This is like if during his trial, O.J. was also doing ads for a leather apparel company with the slogan ‘When I do a hit, I like to wear gloves that fit.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He brought in another country for a menage-a-treason (Who believes in states’ rights now, byotch!)

September 2022

“There is a report that documents seized by the FBI at Mar-a-Lago included sensitive nuclear information pertaining to another country. So this time, the ex-president wasn’t just betraying our country. He brought in another country for a menage-a-treason.” —Stephen Colbert

“How do you explain this to our allies?” [As Trump]: ‘Don’t worry, prime minister, your country’s nuclear secrets are perfectly safe, stored at the Mar-a-Lago waffle bar, between the syrup and the Nutella bucket.’” —Stephen Colbert

“In other Trump-adjacent news, former adviser Steve Bannon surrendered to authorities in New York following an investigation into his non-profit dedicated to privately constructing Trump’s promised border wall, called We Build The Wall. Spoiler alert: no they don’t. The matter was in state court in New York because the former president pardoned Bannon before federal prosecutors could bring the case to trial; presidential pardons only apply to federal charges and do not prohibit state prosecutions. Gotcha Steve! Who believes in states’ rights now, byotch!” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Your boot tastes delicious today, Mr President (T-Mobile’s Unlimited Talk and Treason plan)

May 2022

“There were 2,319 text messages handed over to the January 6th committee by Donald Trump’s former chief of staff, Mark Meadows. That’s a lot of messages. Luckily Meadows has T-Mobile’s Unlimited Talk and Treason plan.” —Stephen Colbert

“The messages included an exchange between Meadows and Sean Hannity, in which Meadows encouraged the Fox News host to ‘stress every vote matters’. ‘Yes sir … on it,’ Hannity responded. That is a shocking level of toadyism, even for a guy who looks like a bullfrog. But he’s just living up to the Fox News slogan: ‘We report. You decide what we should say, and by the way, your boot tastes delicious today, Mr President.’” —Stephen Colbert

“On Friday, Hannity tried to claim he wasn’t caught – he meant to have no ethics. According to Hannity, ‘I don’t claim to be a journalist. I claim to be a talkshow host … I make no apologies, I give my opinions straightforward. We even do culture, we do sports, I’m like the whole newspaper.’ Yes, Sean Hannity is just like a newspaper – out of date, bad for the planet, only relevant to people over 70, and I’d love to see a puppy poop on him.” —Stephen Colbert

“There were also messages from former Trump energy secretary Rick Perry claiming to have non-existent evidence of voter fraud. Perry denied sending the texts, though they were signed ‘Rick Perry’ and included his phone number. Why are these guys so bad at committing crimes? It’s like if the Zodiac Killer released a note that said ‘This is the Zodiac speaking. To unearth my identity solve the enclosed cipher … and return to John Evans, 1414 Hawthorne Lane. Good luck!’” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’m going to beat you like Brown vs. the Board of Education, man (Save that language for CNN)

“Then later in the morning, Trump tweeted again, this time even more desperate and trying out an even dumber argument. He tweeted: ‘The impeachment hoax is hurting our stock market. The Do Nothing Democrats don’t care.’ That has nothing to do with impeachment. There’s no secret footnote in the Constitution that says ‘the president shall be removed from office for treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors unless it’s bad for the stock market in which case, cool it.’” --Seth Meyers

“What did this reporter think was going to happen? She’s interviewing drunk fans. Did she expect a cogent response? [As drunk fan] ‘While I’m happy, this victory is somewhat tarnished by the cloud of impeachment hanging over this great nation. If we accept the lowering of constitutional standards, America will cease to be a shining beacon of liberty. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go puke into a storm drain! Go Nats!” --Stephen Colbert

“Save that language for CNN, young man.” --Jimmy Kimmel

“D.C. is so political that even the drunk sports fans get involved as well. Like I wonder if there’s bar fights in D.C. where it’s like, ‘You stepped on my sneaker — I’m going to beat you like Brown vs. the Board of Education, man.’” --Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

This is the political equivalent of sending a d*ck pic to your mom (We may not get a puppy. We’re just here to look)

We have an impeachment inquiry! Wait a second, liberals? This is an inquiry. We may not get a puppy. We’re just here to look. --Bill Maher

People around the president are scared because they look like they are complicit. I mean in the whistleblower’s complaint. It says that up maybe 12 or more White House staffers listened in on the call and then some of them helped hide the transcripts of the call in a more “private server”. Remember that term? Trump's got treason on his computer like most men have porn. --Bill Maher

These people, they are so comically inept at covering up the crimes that they are committing. The White House this is true, wrote two pages of talking points about this, as innocent people do and sent it out to the Republicans in Congress but also accidentally sent it to the Democrats. This is the political equivalent of sending a dick pic to your mom. --Bill Maher

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Drill, baby, drill (pelts and shiny rocks)

"Bristol Palin is continuing her campaign about teen pregnancy. It's funny that she's going around telling kids not to get pregnant when her mom is telling people, 'Drill, baby, drill.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

"We may have another Oprah on our hands. Since leaving her job as the governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin has made more than $12 million. That is a lot of money for someone who can't say words that end in 'g.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

"And they say $12 million is a conservative estimate. She may have made a lot more, and yet, she continues to blame Obama for the bad economy. It seems — weird, right?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"The figure is a little bit misleading because most of that money is Alaskan currency, which is primarily made up of pelts and shiny rocks." –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

What is the difference between an AIG executive and a drunken Irishman? (letting people tickle him for $5)

"Police in Illinois claim that Gary Skoien, the former chairman of the Cook County Republican party, was in his children's playroom at one in the morning with two hookers, when his wife walked in, caught him and beat him up with a toy guitar. As always, people are shocked. What, a Chicago politician involved in an illegal activity that didn't involve a bribe? Is that possible?" -- Jay Leno

"Hey, a little quiz for you. What is the difference between an AIG executive and a drunken Irishman? A drunken Irishman spends his own money." --Jay Leno

"Because of the bad economy, they're laying off employees on 'Sesame Street.' It's pretty sad. Elmo is now out on the street letting people tickle him for $5." -- Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It doesn't say anything about Teenagery!!! (liberal shrinkage)

Daily Show correspondent Aasif Mandvi, asked if Mitt Romney's sons will get to come home from serving their country soon: "The good news is if their father keeps saying stupid s--- like this, then yes, yes they will."

"It pains me to say this, but a 'Tip of the Hat' to the New York Times. This week, America's most venerated journal of treason reduced its paper size from 13 1/2 inches to 12. I haven't seen this much liberal shrinkage since John Kerry went windsurfing." --Stephen Colbert

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

If I Cut Your Taxes, Will You Forget About My Treason Act (Me Too)

According to reports, President Trump wanted to call the upcoming Republican tax bill the “Cut Cut Cut Act.” Which is a terrible name, but it is a lot shorter than calling it the “If I Cut Your Taxes, Will You Forget About My Treason Act.” –Seth Meyers

Trump wanted to call the upcoming Republican tax bill the “Cut Cut Cut Act.” Terrible name, but I will say every time he’s on TV, I have this fantasy that a director will walk in and go “cut, cut, cut… OK, that’s a wrap on this presidency.” –Seth Meyers

The Senate heard testimony today from President Trump’s pick to be the new head of NASA, who does not have a significant background in science. Great, that’s what you wanna hear. “That guy’s head of NASA, but he’s no rocket scientist.” –Seth Meyers

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

the White House was playing trick or treason (nervous trying to spell George)

President Trump gave out Halloween candy to kids at the White House last night. It was a chance for kids to take king-sized candy bars from fun-sized hands. A little weird, though. While the kids were trick-or-treating, the White House was playing trick or treason. –Jimmy Fallon

People are still talking about the former Trump staffers who got indicted, including a guy named George Papadopoulos. Well, today Trump attacked him on Twitter, and referred to him only as George. When asked if he was nervous trying to spell Papadopoulos, he said, "I was nervous trying to spell George." –Jimmy Fallon

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans