"Do you notice gay
marriage didn't become a big Republican priority until all their members
started going to prison?" --Jay Leno
"Donald Rumsfeld was
in Vietnam this week. President Bush was supposed to go, but his dad got him
out of it." --Jay Leno
"A person was caught
trying to jump over the White House fence after throwing a package over it.
Turns out it was just Hillary Clinton with carpet samples." --Jay Leno
"How annoying is
this? Senator Hillary Clinton calling for a return of the 55 mile an hour speed
limit. When people in L.A. heard about this, they said, 'What? Cars can go that
fast?'" --Jay Leno
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