Where is Kanye West when you need him? (he's the one guy she refuses to lick)

September 2013

"Ted Cruz reminds me of Miley Cyrus because he is not afraid to incur the wrath of even some of his fans for the greater good of drawing attention to himself. I really think a filibuster is the political version of 'twerking.'" –Bill Maher

"Ted Cruz talked for 21 hours in a fake filibuster, or as I call it, the vagina monologue. 21 hours? I kept saying, 'Where is Kanye West when you need him?'" –Bill Maher

"Even if it was a real filibuster, which is wasn't, it wouldn't even be the record. Strom Thurmond holds the record, 24 hours 18 minutes, taking only one break to impregnate his maid." –Bill Maher

"This Ted Cruz guy, he incurred the wrath of his own party. They don't like him. Democrats hate him. Independents hate him. Republicans hate him. Even Miley Cyrus -- he's the one guy she refuses to lick." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

France wants to use sarcasm (Why do we have wars?)

September 2013

"All the big-time world leaders are at the G-20 summit. Vladimir Putin is there representing Russia. Barack Obama is there representing Kenya." –Craig Ferguson

"All eyes are on Obama because of Syria. He wants to use military strikes. Even his allies don't agree with him. Britain wants to use economic embargoes. France wants to use sarcasm." –Craig  Ferguson

"Happy Rosh Hashanah. In honor of the Jewish new year, Mayor Bloomberg has banned the 16-ounce brisket." –David Letterman

"Former President Bill Clinton is traveling the country holding town hall meetings where he explains Obamacare. After that he will explain twerking." –David Letterman

"Will Congress approve taking action in Syria? First they have to approve taking action in Congress." –Stephen Colbert

"While I was overseas, I couldn't really get much out of the news. From what I could make out, President Obama wanted to drop Miley Cyrus on Damascus." –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Or as it’s called in Florida, Career Day (This Is Too Easy!)

President Trump yesterday issued a statement calling for paid family leave. Which is a little surprising until you remember that he’s already paid two families to leave. –Seth Meyers

Parents at a Florida school are reportedly outraged after a video surfaced of students in a classroom twerking and giving lap dances. Or as it’s called in Florida, Career Day. –Seth Meyers

Customs officials in Malaysia have seized over 300 tortoises that were being smuggled through the airport. Three hundred tortoises, or as it’s technically known, a McConnell family reunion. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

He's the one guy she refuses to lick

"This Ted Cruz guy, he incurred the wrath of his own party. They don't like him. Democrats hate him. Independents hate him. Republicans hate him. Even Miley Cyrus -- he's the one guy she refuses to lick." –Bill Maher 

"Officials believe that one of the terrorists [in the mall attack in Kenya] was a woman. And there are female suicide bombers. It's just that their reward in paradise is a little different. Instead of getting 72 virgins, they get 72 guys who just listen." –Bill Maher



"Ted Cruz reminds me of Miley Cyrus because he is not afraid to incur the wrath of even some of his fans for the greater good of drawing attention to himself. I really think a filibuster is the political version of 'twerking.'" –Bill Maher