Teammates (Classic Jesus or Republican Jesus)

It was announced that “Space Jam 2” is in the works, and the movie will star LeBron James. It’ll feature LeBron playing with a bunch of make-believe teammates — or as LeBron calls them, “teammates.” –Jimmy Fallon

"Today Mitt Romney visited a firehouse here in New York City. Of course, he was disappointed when he learned that the firehouse is not where you get to fire people." –Jimmy Fallon

It looks like Derek Jeter and Jeb Bush will be buying the Miami Marlins. That’s right, one guy who could’ve been president — and Jeb Bush. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Martha Stewart’s friend and the headphones guy (The big hits, the long draws)

February 2022

“Two legends of hardcore gangsta rap, or as the kids today call them: Martha Stewart’s friend and the headphones guy.” — Stephen Colbert on Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre

“But as always, the star of the game was the commercials, and this year a ton of them were pushing crypto. Coinbase aired a spot with a floating magenta QR code, Larry David shilled for FTX, and a crypto.com ad featured LeBron James advising his younger self to learn more about the site. If he really wants to look out for young LeBron, tell him to avoid Space Jam 2.” —Stephen Colbert 

“But it really was quite a game. The big hits, the long draws, and that was just Snoop right before the halftime show.” —James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Lemme save you a few bucks: it’s been bad (am I supposed to eat my string cheese dry?)

March 2021

“Updated CDC guidelines have suggested that indoor dinner parties will soon be possible although I’m worried about how prepared he might be after so much time not socializing. My mug of ranch dressing is running low, am I supposed to eat my string cheese dry?” —Stephen Colbert

“Stimulus cheques are set to be sent out to US citizens. I have a feeling a lot of MAGA folks are about to accept the election results.” —Stephen Colbert

“On International Women’s Day, Joe Biden announced that two female generals will be promoted, news that is so inspiring for all the little girls out there who dream of growing up and launching air strikes in Syria.” —Stephen Colbert

“A study is being conducted to examine the effect that the pandemic has had on people’s mental health. Lemme save you a few bucks: it’s been bad.” —Seth Meyers

“After conversation around Pepe Le Pew normalizing rape culture started again, the character has been removed from Space Jam 2. He’s been Me Pewed.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

or as LeBron calls them, “teammates.”

Today was the Indiana primary, and the results are in. Donald Trump saw his shadow, so there are six more months of the election! –Jimmy Fallon

Yesterday, Heidi Cruz was asked about rumors that her husband is the Zodiac Killer, and she said, “I’ve been married to him for 15 years, and I know pretty well who he is.” That story again: Heidi Cruz didn’t actually deny that her husband was the Zodiac Killer. –Jimmy Fallon

It was announced that “Space Jam 2” is in the works, and the movie will star LeBron James. It’ll feature LeBron playing with a bunch of make-believe teammates — or as LeBron calls them, “teammates.” –Jimmy Fallon

The CEO of Priceline just resigned after it was revealed that he had an affair with an employee. As you can imagine, his wife is pretty mad, but on the bright side, at least he knows where to find a good deal on hotels. –Jimmy Fallon