It sounds like the plot to a Jason Statham movie (they can still open their hot dog and cocaine cart)

“On Monday, a New York appeals court reduced Donald Trump’s bond in his civil fraud case — originally set at $454 million — to a mere $175 million. Having 10 days to come up with $175 million doesn’t sound like good news; it sounds like the plot to a Jason Statham movie.” — Jimmy Fallon

“In addition to cutting the bond by more than half and giving him an extension, the appeals court paused restrictions on Trump running any New York company or obtaining a loan from a New York bank, as well as the restrictions on his adult sons, which means now Don Jr. and Eric can still open their hot dog and cocaine cart.” — Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And if you want to get them a gift… hurry! (at least that’s what he told his wife when she walked in on them)

A man in the U.K. saved his pet tortoise by giving it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation — at least that’s what he told his wife when she walked in on them. –Jimmy Fallon

"Dick Cheney is back in the news. He's talking about his memoirs. Cheney said that George George Bush stopped taking his advice during the second term of their Administration. And in Bush's defense, I think it's pretty natural to lose trust in a guy who shoots his friends in the face." --Jimmy Fallon

I read about a 98-year-old woman and a 94-year-old man here in New York who just got married. And if you want to get them a gift… hurry! –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They discovered the documents in January in Mike’s kitchen, behind the Pence family mayonnaises (My Year of Dicks)

January 2023

“Oscar nominations were announced on Tuesday morning, and though Avatar: The Way of Water received a nod for best picture, James Cameron was not nominated for best director. Which is what you get for making us put on those dumb glasses for four hours. Another nomination for best animated short went to a movie called My Year of Dicks, whose title cracked presenter Riz Ahmed up. I’d never heard of the movie before. I went to look up My Year of Dicks and now my computer won’t turn on.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“This time, it was Mike Pence, who returned about a dozen classified documents found in his Indiana home to the FBI. Mike Pence has them too now! This is unbelievable. It’s an epidemic. The Pence news was especially interesting, because the former vice-president was specifically asked about taking classified documents home in an ABC news interview from November. Asked if he kept any, Pence answered: ‘I did not.’ Is that your final answer? Because according to his lawyer, they discovered the documents in January in Mike’s kitchen, behind the Pence family mayonnaises.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Have you seen California? That’s not the threat it once was, China (Also a perfect slogan for White Castle)

August 2022

“Nancy Pelosi’s controversial trip to Taiwan has drawn intense ire from the Chinese government. Chinese officials warned the House speaker, unsubtly, that ‘those who play with fire will perish by it.’ Have you seen California? That’s not the threat it once was, China.” —Stephen Colbert

“China warned its military ‘won’t sit by idly’ if Pelosi visited Taiwan, and warned ‘no matter for what reason Pelosi goes to Taiwan, it will be a stupid, dangerous and unnecessary gamble.’ That’s ominous. Also a perfect slogan for White Castle.” —Stephen Colbert

“Furthermore, the Chinese military conducted live-fire drills in the South China Sea and scrambled jets as Pelosi’s plane landed in Taiwan. All of this for an 82-year-old woman with bones made of peanut brittle. Tensions are so bad the defense department has upgraded its readiness to Defcon Mee-maw.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”