He ordered a bucket of pheasant McNuggets (Is it too soon to hit on Queen Latifah?)

"In the last 48 hours King Abdullah from Saudi Arabia passed away. I have a moral dilemma. The king passed away three or four days ago. Is it too soon to hit on Queen Latifah?" –David Letterman

"Mitt Romney wants to prove he's a regular guy, so he was someplace and he ordered a bucket of pheasant McNuggets." –David Letterman

"'King Kong' opened 78 years ago. It’s the story of a woman that gets carried away by an ape. The same thing happened to Maria Shriver." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He is kidnapping our women and feeding them to King Kong (See How that's better?)

June 2011

"Mitt Romney started to stick it to Obama right away. He said, 'We are only inches away from ceasing to be a free market economy.' What?! If he’s going to lie this hard on day one, what’s he going to say in six months? Obama is kidnapping our white women and feeding them to King Kong." –Bill Maher, on Mitt Romney's presidential campaign announcement

"Mitt Romney wanted to get the maximum exposure for his presidential announcement so he made it in Anthony Weiner's underpants." –Bill Maher

"Anthony Weiner pledges to get to the bottom of this. He's asked for an investigation, the police are involved, he's got a dick lawyer he's hired. They know it is a Democrat's penis because it won't stand up. And also because it was sent to a woman." –Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school." –Bill Maher, on Sarah Palin's botched explanation of Paul Revere's midnight ride

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I'm a constant f***ing delight (CBS’ No. 1 paid embarrassment)

"Moammar Gadhafi is blaming Osama bin Laden for all of Libya's troubles. It's going to be awkward when these two guys meet in hell." –Conan O'Brien

"People from all 50 states and 14 foreign countries have donated pizzas to the protesters in Wisconsin. Someone asked, "How can we fix things in Wisconsin?" and someone else said, "I know. More cheese." –Conan O'Brien

"'King Kong' opened 78 years ago. It’s the story of a woman that gets carried away by an ape. The same thing happened to Maria Shriver." –David Letterman

"CBS has shut down Charlie Sheen’s show, 'Two and a Half Men.' Now I’m back to being CBS’ No. 1 paid embarrassment." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It's not that island where they're hiding King Kong (Miss Fiscal Third Quarter)

Playboy just announced that starting in 2019, they'll publish only four issues a year. By 2020, they're just going to send you a shovel and say, "Go dig up the issues your uncle buried in the woods." --Stephen Colbert

What happened to the months? Four a year? It's just not going to be the same to crack open a centerfold and see "Miss Fiscal Third Quarter." --Stephen Colbert

President Trump has been hard at work both preparing for the hurricane and bragging about how good he is at hurricanes. [Trump clip] "We got A-pluses for our recent hurricane work in Texas and Florida and did an unappreciated great job in Puerto Rico, even though an inaccessible island." Just hold up right there. I'd like to point out that we knew it was an island before the storm hit. It wasn't a surprise. And what do you mean by "inaccessible?" People go there for spring break. It's not that island where they're hiding King Kong. --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

MacKay had to promise Condi he would get permission from the U.N. before he invaded her

"This week, President Bush said he has no plans to invade North Korea. Bush said, 'This time, Rumsfeld and I are going to wing it.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Happy Birthday to Fay Wray, a wonderful actress. She was, of course, in the movie 'King Kong' and would have been 99-years-old today. She was famous because of her love interest with a giant ape, and, wait a minute, that's Maria Shriver." --David Letterman

"The hot gossip in Washington is that Condoleezza Rice might have a new boyfriend. Secretary of State Rice is being linked to Canada's Foreign Minister, Peter MacKay. It's gotta be awkward dating a fellow diplomat. Like today, MacKay had to promise Condi he would get permission from the U.N. before he invaded her." --Jay Leno

The same thing happened to Maria Shriver

"'King Kong' opened 78 years ago. It’s the story of a woman that gets carried away by an ape. The same thing happened to Maria Shriver." –David Letterman



"CBS has shut down Charlie Sheen’s show, 'Two and a Half Men.' Now I’m back to being CBS’ No. 1 paid embarrassment." –David Letterman

"The good news is that Hosni Mubarak may step down. The bad news is that he may be replaced by his idiot son Hosni W. Mubarak." –David Letterman