“Adam Schiff laid out a ton of evidence against the president, much of it sound bites of Trump himself, and he invoked the founding fathers and their words a lot. Schiff quoted Alexander Hamilton so many times today, he was nominated for five Tony Awards.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Yeah, some senators are playing with their Apple watches, others are solving crosswords and worst of all, a senator from Idaho fell asleep — like ‘asleep’ asleep. Because you know you’ve been sleeping for a long time when an artist has time to sketch your portrait. That’s sleep.” —Trevor Noah
“In this week’s trial, we are very much seeing at least some of the senators live down to the very low expectations they’ve set for themselves. On reports that numerous senators left the trial early, took extended bathroom breaks or were busying themselves with crosswords during testimony, former senator Claire McCaskill of Missouri explained: ‘For senators, this is hard, because they’re used to moving constantly, they’re used to talking constantly, they are not used to listening for long periods of time.’ I love how the hardest thing to ask a senator to do is just shut the fuck up for one lousy day. “You know who else is used to talking and moving and has difficulty listening for long periods of time? Children. We talk about senators the way pre-K teachers talk about story time.” —Seth Meyers
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
