THAT is a legitimate rape, ladies and gentlemen

"It's got to hurt Mitt Romney. The better the voters knew him, the worse he did. He lost Michigan, one of his home states, in a landslide. Lost Massachusetts in a double landslide. And listen to this, he did worse with Mormons than Bush did. THAT is a legitimate rape, ladies and gentlemen." –Bill Maher



"All of the Republican men who talked about lady parts during the campaign, they all lost, including two seats in the Senate, Todd Akin and Richard Mourdock, while Claire McCaskill and Elizabeth Warren won. And you know what? After all this stupid rape talk, it is refreshing to see women forcing their way into men's seats." –Bill Maher



"Obama won single women by 38 percent. I think the message to Republicans was clear: get off me." –Bill Maher


John Hulse painting


Not everyone has an ex-president who can speak

"The conventions were so different. The Democrats finally look like a real political party; the Republicans look like a seminar for how to flip real estate for Jesus." –Bill Maher 

"Did you see that Bill Clinton speech? One by one he picked apart and destroyed every claim of the Romney-Ryan campaign. In fact, today Todd Akin said it qualified as a legitimate rape." –Bill Maher



"Of course, it made the Republicans furious. They said, 'No fair. Not everyone has an ex-president who can speak.'" –Bill Maher

John Hulse painting

They have narrowed it down the list to all women, everywhere.

"Todd Akin is getting death threats. They have narrowed it down the list to all women, everywhere." –Bill Maher



"I'm not surprised there are people in America who believe things like this. But usually they don't own shoes and they live in an abandoned school bus and they smell like urine. But this guy Todd Akin, he went to college. He can tie a necktie, he doesn't smell like urine. That's the problem with America, we have a bunch of crazy people who clean up good." –Bill Maher



"As much as the Republican establishment wants to denounce Akin and to make him quit, there's very little difference between what he says and what is in his platform. Their platform says no abortion, no exceptions – not for rape, not for incest, not even for Snooki." –Bill Maher

John Hulse painting

It is the worst super power ever

"Mitt Romney went birther today. He was in Michigan, were he was born, and he said, 'No one has ever asked to see my birth certificate.' Right, because you weren't born. You have a warranty card." –Bill Maher



"Todd Akin is running for Senate in Missouri and he said if it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways of shutting the whole thing down. And then he made it worse by saying the medical term for this is Pussy Riot." –Bill Maher



"But wait. republican Todd Akin says the female body has ways of shutting this down? Not only is it absurd but it is the worst super power ever." –Bill Maher

John Hulse painting