Why are we celebrating? I just spent 114 years in New Jersey. (Now you do me)

The oldest living American, a New Jersey woman, has just turned 114. At her birthday party she said, “Why are we celebrating? I just spent 114 years in New Jersey.” –Conan O’Brien

"In San Diego, a man refused to be patted down by airport security and some people are calling him a hero. I don't mind being patted down by airport security, but I don't like it when the guy says, 'Now you do me.'" –Conan O'Brien

Archaeologists in Israel have discovered an ancient formation as old as Stonehenge that’s known as the "Wheel of Giants." They claim that ancient locals used to gather around the wheel nightly and purchase vowels. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”