Now I can finally buy that planet I've had my eye on (Hey we're gay, we’re not blind)

Big news for Oprah Winfrey this week Oprah Winfrey signed a new long-term contract reportedly worth, get this, six hundred million dollars. Six hundred million dollars. When asked about it Oprah said, "Now I can finally buy that planet I've had my eye on." It’s about time that woman caught a break. --Conan O’Brien 8/6/2004

President Bush and John Kerry have both agreed to three presidential debates, although their campaigns are still trying to decide on the format. Apparently Kerry wants a town hall format while Bush wants to do rock-paper-scissors. --Conan O’Brien 9/22/2004

TV evangelist Jimmy Swaggart is in trouble for saying that he would kill any gay man who looked at him romantically. In response a spokesman for gay men said, “Hey we're gay, we’re not blind.”  --Conan O’Brien 9/22/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”