Gotta go with the Taliban on this one

"New Rule: Bill O'Reilly has to tell us why he's always thinking about murder. Yes, since Obama was elected Bill O'Reilly has written three books about killing major historical figures. And Bill, I agree - how tragic that Kennedy, Lincoln and Jesus, these heroic, liberal, social reformers, had to die after being vilified by panicky, backwards-looking conservative blowhards. You surely did a great service pointing this out, and I look forward to your new children's book… Killing the Cat in the Hat." –Bill Maher



"Nobody’s happy about the government shutdown. In fact, the Taliban just issued a statement where they criticized Congress for putting themselves before everyone else. You know things are bad when Americans are saying, 'Yeah, gotta go with the Taliban on this one.'" –Jimmy Fallon