"You know what Arnold Schwarzenegger and Meg Whitman have in common? They both got in trouble for stiffing the maid." –Jay Leno
"I'm Conan O'Brien, or as I can now publicly call myself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jr." –Conan O'Brien
"Schwarzenegger secretly fathered a child outside of his marriage 10 years ago. He told his wife at the time but it took 10 years for her to figure out what he was saying." –Conan O'Brien
"Arnold kept the child secret for 10 years. So maybe he is a good actor after all." –Conan O'Brien
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