Basically, if your commercials air during golf tournaments, you're done (I hate this game)

"Hey, guess what? Turns out the free market? Not so free. Wall Street was hit hard Monday when Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy, Merrill Lynch was sold to Bank of America, and insurance giant AIG neared a collapse of its own. Basically, if your commercials air during golf tournaments, you're done." --Amy Poehler

"This week President Bush's approval rating hit an all-time low of 34%. To improve this rating, the administration is going to adopt an adorable and precocious little black kid." --Amy Poehler

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How does Trickle Down work again? (And then what?)

"I don't know why President Bush can't leak us information that we can actually use, like tell us when Dick Cheney is going hunting again." --Jay Leno

"President Bush had a press conference today outside the Oval Office to talk about the economy. He would have had it inside, but, you know, the bank has foreclosed on it. " –Jay Leno

"When it comes to the economy, President Bush is no help at all. Like when reporters asked him today what he thought about AIG, he said he got Showtime and HBO, but he really didn't get the whole package." Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Who are you and what have you done with the real Bill Clinton? (taking sides)

 

"Some financial analysts are saying we're bailing out institutions with money we don't have, which makes the dollar even more worthless. In fact, today, God said, 'Could you take my name off the money?" --Jay Leno

"And in an interview recorded by the BBC in Africa, Bill Clinton told people in Africa to practice monogamy and that we need to control unprotected sexual relations with unlimited numbers of partners. In fact, the minute he said that, the Secret Service wrestled him to the ground and said, 'Who are you and what have you done with the real Bill Clinton?'" –Jay Leno

 

"And another day, another federal bailout. This is unbelievable to me. The Federal Reserve has just loaned the AIG Insurance Company $85 billion to keep it afloat. $85 billion. That is almost as much money as Barack Obama raised last night in Beverly Hills." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Or as Bill Clinton called him, 'a trailblazer, a pioneer.' (Okay, besides the New York Yankees)

 

"According to a series of just published letters that Albert Einstein sent to his second wife, he had ten mistresses. He would send his wife letters about his mistresses and then ask her for advice. Or as Bill Clinton called him, 'a trailblazer, a pioneer.'" --Jay Leno

"Do you even understand this Bush economic plan? Do you understand how it works? See, here's how it works. When you screw up, you pay. When they screw up, you pay! Yeah, it’s actually very simple." --Jay Leno

 

"You know? I mean, I understand if you're living in a dumpster, rooting through trash cans, you need a couple bucks, okay. But if you have $1 trillion like AIG, don't hit me up for a loan. Think about it. Has anybody ever had $1 trillion and still failed? Okay, besides the New York Yankees." --Jay Leno

"And according to the Associated Press, this article was in the paper today. Sarah Palin's church in Alaska is promoting a conference that promises to convert gays into heterosexuals through the power of prayer. They call it 'Pray away the gay.' I'm not making it up. That's the name of it. That's the name of the sermon, 'pray away the gay.' Hey, it's a lot better than the original title, 'think outside the box.'" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He either has a thirst for international knowledge or he's a drug mule (quietly running the show as they see fit)

"President Bush left for the Olympic Games early, in an effort

to beat the traffic, landing in South Korea for a day of trade

talks. It seemed like just another ordinary trip for the president,

except, it's his 134th visit to a foreign country! It's a record!

He's now officially -- this is true -- our most traveled president

in history. It's a little suspicious. Perhaps validating what

I have been saying all along: President George W. Bush

either has a thirst for international knowledge or is

a drug mule." --Jon Stewart

President Bush has been speaking out about the Wall Street bailout. And today, a reporter asked him what he planned to do about AIG. Yeah. Bush got upset and said, 'Why does everyone always spell in front of me?'" --Conan O'Brien

"The new Republican-controlled House of Representative decided to start things off by reading the entire Constitution aloud. Then there was a break for lunch and a slave auction." –Jimmy Kimmel 1/6/2010

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

Why does everyone always spell in front of me? (Billionaire tax scam)

"Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi described President Obama as an African of Arab and Muslim descent. After the speech, Gadhafi was given his own show on Fox News." –Conan O'Brien

"The White House is considering supporting same sex marriage. Experts are attributing the change to shifting public attitudes, recent court cases, and the President catching a recent episode of 'Glee.'" –Conan O'Brien

President Bush has been speaking out about the Wall Street bailout. And today, a reporter asked him what he planned to do about AIG. Yeah. Bush got upset and said, 'Why does everyone always spell in front of me?'" --Conan O'Brien

"Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright called North Korea's leader Kim Jung Il a pervert. In response, Kim Jung Il said 'I dare her to put on a leather mask and say that to my ass.'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

she spent her high school history class looking off to the right of the blackboard (you know, except for those)

"The Egyptian protesters are using Facebook to get away from the police, but the police are using Farmville to build fences to keep the protesters in." –Jay Leno

"Rep. Michele Bachmann created controversy when she said in a speech that the Founding Fathers worked tirelessly until slavery was no more. Apparently she spent her high school history class looking off to the right of the blackboard." –Seth Meyers 

"And another day, another federal bailout. This is unbelievable to me. The Federal Reserve has just loaned the AIG Insurance Company $85 billion to keep it afloat. $85 billion. That is almost as much money as Barack Obama raised last night in Beverly Hills." --Jay Leno

"And as you know, the McCain campaign is running that commercial where they're comparing Barack Obama to various Hollywood celebrities. And as you know, if there's one thing the Republicans will not stand for, it's electing some Hollywood celebrity to public office. Except for Ronald Reagan, Fred Thompson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Clint Eastwood -- you know, except for those." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Why does everyone always spell in front of me? (if for no other reason than the raw sexual tension)

"The Pope praised Facebook but said it is no substitute for human interaction. Then the Pope reminded everyone that human interaction is a sin." –Conan O'Brien

President Bush has been speaking out about the Wall Street bailout. And today, a reporter asked him what he planned to do about AIG. Yeah. Bush got upset and said, 'Why does everyone always spell in front of me?'" --Conan O'Brien

"Tomorrow is the State of the Union Address, and Republicans and Democrats will sit together intermingled, if for no other reason than the raw sexual tension." –Conan O'Brien

"Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright called North Korea's leader Kim Jung Il a pervert. In response, Kim Jung Il said 'I dare her to put on a leather mask and say that to my ass.'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Cheney's speech was more of a how-to discussion (The Trump Economy)

"Today, President Obama and former Vice President Dick Cheney gave speeches on torture. Now, is it me or have we seen more of Dick Cheney in the last week than we did in the past eight years? Anyway, the President spoke out against torture, while Cheney's speech was more of a how-to discussion." --Jay Leno

"Well, a bankruptcy judge has denied a chapter 11 proposal submitted by former NFL star, Michael Vick, after he filed a bankruptcy plan that allowed him to keep three cars and two houses. The judge argued you can't keep three cars and two houses if you're really bankrupt. And several AIG executives said, 'Oh, yeah?'" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

they think it originated either with pigs or an AIG executive (second jobs)

"I wasn't that sick, but some people are, because of this swine flu, which has knocked the torture stuff right off the front page. You notice that? So, it's obvious who is spreading the swine flu. Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno

"Well, it's interesting. They call it swine flu because they think it originated either with pigs or an AIG executive." --Jay Leno

"I tell you, the economy is so bad, third graders in China are being forced to get second jobs." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

Hey if you don't straighten up next year, crumpets, buddy (The ones who are really killing people)

"Some Americans did a very dumb thing today. They had tea party protests. They've been mailing tea bags to Congress to I guess express their dissatisfaction with taxes and government spending because nothing shakes a politician up like a complimentary bag of tea. 'Hey if you don't straighten up next year, crumpets, buddy.'" --Jimmy Kimmel

"President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley -- all dependents." --Jay Leno

"And as you know, that captain of the merchant ship that was held captive by three Somali pirates was rescued when the pirates were shot and killed by a group of Navy Seals. President Obama authorized the military to use any force necessary to accomplish this. And today, the CEOs of Ford, Chrysler and GM said, 'We'll build any car you want.'" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Well, if you don't count AIG, of course (Spreading democracy in the Middle East)

"Anyway, U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder tried to put all this in perspective. He said this is the first act of piracy against the United States literally 'in hundreds of years.' Well, if you don't count AIG, of course." --Jay Leno

"Speaking of that, the New York Post says that Bernard Madoff's wife, Ruth Madoff, may go back to using her maiden name. But I don't know if that's going to work because her maiden name is bin Laden." --Jay Leno

"And speaking of naval heroes, we have one on the show here tonight. Senator John McCain. Let me tell you something, McCain knows a thing or two about battling pirates, because, as a young man, he led the crew that sank the famous pirate Blackbeard's ship." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

They were both free up until the Vietnam War (offering hope, change, and 0 percent financing)

"As you know by now, the government is now taking an active role in the auto business. President Obama offering hope, change, and 0 percent financing." --Jay Leno

"You know what's interesting? Today, a reporter in Crawford, Texas, asked former President George Bush how he felt about General Motors and Bush said, 'You know, since I left office, I don't really follow the Iraq war anymore.'" --Jay Leno

"Actually, President Obama says that G.M. filing for bankruptcy may be the best alternative. He said that bankruptcy is a good legal tool for a company not to have to pay creditors back, which sounds great until you realize, hey wait a minute, we're the creditors! Great, so you want to help them not pay us back. I mean, even A.I.G. is going, 'Why didn't we think of this?'" --Jay Leno

"So, it's pretty crazy. Look, we're bailing out Wall Street, we're bailing out banks, we're bailing out car companies. In fact, did you know there's a special box on your tax form this year you can check if you want a portion of your taxes to actually go to running the government?" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

How much did your wages rise? (Then you're screwed)

"How many watched the President's news conference last night? He got a little testy there, you know. When he was asked why he waited three days to speak out against the AIG bonuses, President Obama said he likes to know what he's talking about before he speaks. So, yet another reversal of the Bush policies." --Jay Leno

"I have a plan to end the war in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Here's what we do. We bring all our soldiers home. We send in our investment bankers. They'll screw up the place in six months. Six months!" --Jay Leno

"President Obama held an online town hall meeting today, the first time a president has ever done that. This would allow anyone online to participate, unless, of course, you have AOL. Then you're screwed." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I think Lou Dobbs' head is going to explode when he hears this (You know what fell out?)

"Hey, you hear about this? Very strange incident at JFK Airport in New York City today. An AIG executive going through security had to empty out all his pockets. You know what fell out? Senator Chris Dodd." --Jay Leno

"The market rallied yesterday after the Treasury said it was going to help banks sell off their toxic assets. That's the big problem, banks can't sell toxic assets. Well, duh. I mean, I'm no economist, but maybe you should stop calling them toxic assets. Huh? Isn't that like KFC advertising salmonella chicken?" --Jay Leno

"Hey, congratulations to Japan for winning the World Baseball Classic right here in Dodger Stadium. Yeah, they beat Korea 5-3, which is perfect. You have the Japanese playing the Koreans in a city full of Mexicans to determine who's best at America's pastime. I think Lou Dobbs' head is going to explode when he hears this." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

it was so nice, the AIG executives were counting their bonuses in the park (robbing a bank and leaving your wallet)

"We spilled 25,000 barrels of oil into the Strait of Hormuz, by Iraq. And a U.S. Navy server ship collided with a submarine. Who else, but us, could invade the Middle East and lose oil? It's like robbing a bank and leaving your wallet." --Bill Maher 

"There's a new bin Laden tape where he calls for the destruction of Somalia. That's right. Forget destroying America, that job is done." --Bill Maher 

"Beautiful day in New York City today. In fact, it was so nice, the AIG executives were counting their bonuses in the park."--David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Former President George W. Bush signed a $7 million book deal (he thought it was to read one)

"The Washington Post' reporting that senior executives at AIG whose decisions caused the companies to collapse are long gone and that these bonuses that everybody's complaining about are actually being paid to people who are trying to fix the problem. Okay, here's my thing. Fix the problem, then you get the bonus." --Jay Leno

"Former President George W. Bush just signed a $7 million book deal, though, reportedly, he thought it was to read one." --Jimmy Fallon

"You know, we own AIG, right? We own 80% of it. And because of all of the outrage over these bonuses, armed guards now have to be placed outside the AIG offices. You know what that means? Not only are we paying the AIG executive bonuses, we are now paying to protect the executives from us. Does that make any sense to anybody?" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

But they say the bonuses are justified because the company made an extra $170 billion last year (Crazy Bread)

"AIG, which already received $170 billion in taxpayers' money, paid $165 million in bonuses. But they say the bonuses are justified because the company made an extra $170 billion last year." --Jay Leno

"George Bush is writing a book. No, that's not the joke. It's a serious book about the 12 toughest decisions he made as President. It's called 'The Ten Toughest Decisions I Made As President.' It's a good book. It's a pop-up book."--Jimmy Fallon

"Kim Jong-il has demanded that North Korea open its first pizzeria. It will have pizza just like the kind we have over here, but their Crazy Bread will actually be crazy."--Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

by the age of 50, many of us are thinking at a President Bush level (Your greed is hurting the economy)

"The Republicans are on board in this, too. Iowa Senator Charles Grassley told AIG executives -- this is what he actually said -- he said they should either quit or commit suicide. But I think that's plain wrong. I mean, why give them the option of quitting?" --Jay Leno

"I like Grassley's idea, but here's my question: where was Congress when everything was falling apart, you know? They're supposed to be looking out for us. Here's a better idea. How about AIG and Congress making a giant suicide pact?" --Jay Leno

"New research out of the University of Virginia says that our mental abilities begin to decline around the age of 27. In fact, by the age of 50, many of us are thinking at a President Bush level." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Rush Limbaugh attacked him today for being dangerously sane (Things we "can afford")

"Michael Steele, the head of the Republican party, is in very hot water this week, once again, for suggesting that, actually, it is the woman's choice, if she's pregnant, what to do. And also suggesting that homosexuality is something you're born with. Rush Limbaugh attacked him today for being dangerously sane." -- Bill Maher

"I want to tell you, a beautiful day in New York City. Am I right about that? It was so nice today that AIG gave a bonus to Al Roker." --David Letterman

"Hey, Obama is being criticized for trying to solve too many problems at the same time. I'll tell you one thing. This never would have happened if Bush were still president. We wouldn't even be having this conversation." -- Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”