“In other news, America’s billionaires are like unicorns – rarely seen, mostly white, horny and don’t pay taxes. But you may not know that there’s more than one kind of billionaire: your run-of-the-mill multibillionaire putters around in their personal submarine like some kind of sea peasant, but the true hyper-elites have their own space programs, such as Amazon’s CEO, Jeff Bezos, who announced this week he intends to go to space this summer. As preparation for space flight, Bezos has asked his warehouse workers to show him how to pee discreetly into a tube. The astronauts onboard the New Shepard, a spacecraft produced by Bezos-owned Blue Origin, will experience weightlessness for just three minutes – or as Amazon warehouse workers call it: lunch.” —Stephen Colbert
“Now, you know who this is great news for? Elon Musk, because you realize, for a few hours, he can be like, ‘Ha ha! I’m now the richest man on earth! Yes, the richest man! Oh, he’s back. I’m going to go tweet about Bitcoin now.’” —Trevor Noah
“My favorite part of the story is Jeff Bezos’s ship is auctioning off another seat for this trip. Why? You’re Jeff Bezos. Just pay the extra money to not sit with a stranger on a trip to space! I mean, this is the culmination of your childhood dream. You don’t want to spend it fighting over the arm rest.” —Trevor Noah
“And I know $2.8 million sounds like a lot of money for a trip to space, but keep in mind, that’s basically how much it costs to change your flight on United.” —Trevor Noah
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
