I don’t agree with Trump on much, but yeah, they screwed you (Dave’s weird friend)

“Trump has fully turned Canada – yeah, that Canada – into an enemy. He’s threatening military force to annex Greenland, he signed an order directing his vice-president to remove ‘wokeness’ from the National Zoo and he’s mad about a portrait at the Colorado state capitol that isn’t sufficiently flattering. On that last point, I don’t agree with Trump on much, but yeah, they fucked you.” —Seth Meyers

National security adviser Mike Waltz’s played the blame game for the Signal group chat used to discuss sensitive military plans for strikes in Yemen. Speaking to Fox News, Waltz claimed that the number for Jeffrey Goldberg, The Atlantic editor he invited to the chat, just got “sucked in” to his phone. It just got ‘sucked in’ is a terrible answer when your title is national security adviser. It’s not even a good answer if your title is Dave’s weird friend. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Apparently theres a party on Isle 15 (don’t send out an e-vite for Fight Club)

Numerous intelligence officials are agog at the SignalGate scandal; one posted on X: “My junior analysts know not to do this. Yes, everyone understands this! The characters in Fight Club understand this! It’s why the first rule of Fight Club is don’t send out an e-vite for Fight Club. —Stephen Colbert

Michael Waltz, Trump’s national security adviser, who invited Jeffrey Goldberg to the Signal chat, tried to defend himself in an interview with Fox News’s Laura Ingraham, at once taking responsibility and claiming that Goldberg’s number was “somehow sucked in” to his phone. “It gets sucked in?” OK, so you’re discussing military secrets on an app that’s so insecure that the numbers of people you’ve never spoken to just get sucked in, and then that person is part of the chat? Well, something sucks, but I don’t think it’s the numbers. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Those missiles haven’t even left their apartment yet (you might see the launch codes on OnlyFans!)

Last weekend, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth messaged the group “TEAM UPDATE” with operational details of forthcoming strikes on Houthi rebels in Yemen, including information about targets, weapons to be deployed and attack sequencing. So to recap, the secretary of defense posted, on a publicly available app, specific war plans, which were then seen by a reporter who was accidentally on the thread. It’s a phenomenon previously known as ‘brother of the bride on the bachelor party text chain’. The messages may have violated several provisions of the Espionage Act, as Signal is not approved by the government for sharing classified information. And the only reason we know that they were doing any of this is because they accidentally included a journalist! What else are these ‘merit-based hires’ posting? For all we know, for just $4.99 a month, you might see the launch codes on OnlyFans! —Stephen Colbert

“This is an unprecedented failure of national security protocols and a grotesque disregard for the safety of American service members. Or as Donald Trump would say: no it isn’t!” It wasn’t just times and strikes. Hegseth also texted information about the target of the strikes, saying ‘target terrorist is @ his Known Location so SHOULD BE ON TIME.’ Should be on time? I’ve seen that text before. Those missiles haven’t even left their apartment yet. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Trust me – it was hard enough rigging ‘The Bachelorette.’ (Wait, maybe I wrote it!)

After losing all 16 of their games last season, the Cleveland Browns' first game of the year ended in a tie. Yep, the Cleveland Browns: Even when they don't lose, they don't win. --Jimmy Fallon

Vladimir Putin told Bloomberg Businessweek that Russia never interfered with the U.S. election and doesn't plan to. Putin was like, “Trust me – it was hard enough rigging ‘The Bachelorette.’” –Jimmy Fallon

This weekend Kellyanne Conway said the author of the op-ed wants to "create chaos" and is a "national security risk." Then Trump was like, "Wait, maybe I wrote it!" --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”