Russia was in my cereal this morning (gift baskets)

This is pretty cool. Scientists have built a 6'10" robot that can hit perfect three-pointers. Unfortunately, rival scientists built a 6'11" robot that can say, "Not in my house." --Jimmy Fallon

President Trump has been keeping busy. He just met with the leaders of Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania. And until that meeting, Trump thought Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania were cast members on "Real Housewives." [imitates Trump] "Do you know Melania?" --Jimmy Fallon

Amazon Prime just unveiled new buttons you can press to order Doritos, Red Bull, and Trojan condoms. Or as that's called in New Jersey, “A gift basket.” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

My staffers have been playing that prank on me for six months! (A gift basket)

“Yesterday was April Fool's Day and get this: Mitt Romney's staffers played a prank on him by staging a campaign event in an empty room. Or as Newt Gingrich put it, 'My staffers have been playing that prank on me for six months!'" –Jimmy Fallon

Amazon Prime just unveiled new buttons you can press to order Doritos, Red Bull, and Trojan condoms. Or as that's called in New Jersey, “A gift basket.” –Jimmy Fallon

“A new survey says 64 percent of Americans own a smartphone. Which is interesting because in a related survey, 100 percent of smartphones say they own an American.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

apparently he misunderstood the phrase, 'Please rise for the Pledge of Allegiance.' (two sizes -- regular and Washington Monument)

"In a new interview, Newt Gingrich says he cheated on two of his wives because he was too consumed with love for his country. Yeah, apparently he misunderstood the phrase, 'Please rise for the Pledge of Allegiance.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Starting today, the New York Times reduced the size of their newspaper. They cut the paper's width by an inch and a half. The move was announced with the headline 'Big Changes At New York Tim.'" --Conan O'Brien

"The Trojan Condom Company announced that it is donating 350,000 condoms to the city of Washington, DC. The DC condoms come in two sizes -- regular and Washington Monument." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The DC condoms come in two sizes (regular and Washington Monument)

"The Trojan Condom Company announced that it is donating 350,000 condoms to the city of Washington, DC. The DC condoms come in two sizes -- regular and Washington Monument." --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush addressed the nation tonight. President Bush, in the last couple of weeks, has fallen in love with a man named General Petraeus. All he talks about is General Petraeus. They say it was a crucial speech, one that could determine the future of the war. Aides say the president went through at least 20 drafts of this speech before he delivered it, and still he has no idea what it means. Something about Iraq and a lot about General Petraeus." --Jimmy Kimmel

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

If You’re Here, You’re Probably Hungover (Trojan condoms study)

7-Eleven announced it’s now offering “breakfast pizza.” It’s all in keeping with 7-Eleven’s motto: “If You’re Here, You’re Probably Hungover.” –Conan O’Brien

According to a new study, the average cost of raising a child in America is now over $200,000. The study was funded by Trojan condoms. –Conan O’Brien

CNN reported that last Friday intelligence chiefs presented Trump with claims of Russian efforts compromise him. I gotta say, that is an awkward first meeting with your new boss. “Hey, so, looking forward to working together, watercooler’s down the hall, we heard you’re a puppet of a hostile foreign government, Barbara validates parking any time you need it, any questions?” –Stephen Colbert