They're always saying the prisons aren't full enough (they come on really, really white bread)

April 2012

“There is a strange new law making its way through the Arizona Legislature that would make it illegal to post negative comments on the Internet. The penalty for annoying or offending someone is up to six months in jail. That is good. They're always saying the prisons aren't full enough.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Mitt Romney is catching heat for a possible violation of election rules. He was at a sub shop handing out free sandwiches. Special Romney sandwiches — they come on really, really white bread.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Romney gave the sandwiches to people and apparently this is against the law. The Democratic Party in Wisconsin filed a formal complaint. Not sure with who — Quiznos, maybe.” –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

David Letterman's "Top Ten Reasons Chris Christie Is Not Running for President" (spend more time with pie)

David Letterman's "Top Ten Reasons Chris Christie Is Not Running for President" 

10. As always, he's following his gut

9. Wants to spend more time with pie

8. There isn't a Quiznos within five miles of the White House

7. Afraid of going up against the Newt Gingrich juggernaut

6. Doesn't own a tie without a mustard stain

5. He was advised against it by his closest confidante, Duncan Hines

4. Constitution requires every candidate to be able to see their feet

3. Can't understand response because of chewing

2. Hank Williams, Jr. just compared him to Stalin  

1. He was born in Kenya

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

that’s fine, here are some more seats (yada yada yada, Rick Perry!)

August 2011

"He's not George Bush on steroids. Rick Perry is what happens if Lex Luthor distilled down George Bush essence in a laboratory and crossed it with gun powder and semen from the finest thoroughbred in Lubbock, and then strapped that concoction onto a nuclear missile and shot it into the f*cking sun! And then, waited, waited, waited, until one day, on the anniversarry of the Alamo, a solar flare, yada yada yada, Rick Perry!" –Jon Stewart

"If all of Jon Huntsman’s supporters met at the Ames, Iowa Quiznos, the fire marshal would say, ‘yeah, that’s fine, here are some more seats.'" –Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”