I have personally donated thousands of dollars to people who slide down poles for a living (Magic Mike Pence!)

A headline from Fox News read “Hawaii lawmaker proposes banning the sale of cigarettes to anyone under 100 years old.” The honest headline should have read “Yo mama so old she can buy cigarettes in Hawaii.” --James Corden

President Trump is filing a lawsuit against Capital One Bank. Apparently, Trump really doesn’t want us to know what’s in his wallet. --James Corden

Trump was going crazy on Twitter because a big firefighters union decided to endorse Joe Biden instead of him. He's really upset with this union. He sent a tweet that said, "I've done more for firefighters than this dues-sucking union will ever do." Then he added, "I have personally donated thousands of dollars to people who slide down poles for a living." --Jimmy Fallon

Speaking of strip clubs, listen to this. Yesterday, Mike Pence gave a speech to some Navy sailors. And before Pence walked out, the sailors were told that they had to clap like they were at a strip club. Even weirder, Pence was introduced like this. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Magic Mike Pence! --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Capital One: What’s in your wallet? (a signed affidavit attesting that I love you)

Michael Cohen testified that not only did Trump reimburse him for the Stormy Daniels payoff while in office, he brought a copy of the check. Take a look: From Donald Trump to Michael Cohen, totaling $35,000, from Capital One Bank. Which makes sense, because their slogan is “Capital One: What’s in your wallet?” “Oh, damning evidence of campaign fraud? Yikes!” --Stephen Colbert

Michael Cohen also confessed to lying to the First Lady about the affair at Trump’s request. That’s the sign of a healthy relationship. Colbert as Trump, “Babe, I never cheated on you. Now, I’d prefer if any further questions about my affection and loyalty go to my lawyer, who has prepared a signed affidavit attesting that I love you.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”