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Wednesday, February 1, 2023

5,000 minus 3,000 equals turtle (Here comes Banana Hammer!)


Yesterday, Trump's national security adviser, John Bolton, appeared in front of reporters while holding a notepad, and everybody could see his top-secret notes. This is real. Take a look at this. It says "5,000 troops to Colombia." Well, it's not the first time a politician has mistakenly revealed what's on their notepad during a meeting. For example, it also happened to Chris Christie. His notepad said, "5,000 wings to Super Bowl party." Up next, Betsy DeVos. Her notepad said, "5,000 minus 3,000 equals turtle." --Jimmy Fallon


And all day, newscasters were doing interesting things to show just how cold it was. Check out what they did on the Today Show this morning, “So, how cold is it? One man actually turned this super-frozen banana into a makeshift hammer.” What? -That's actually footage of Trump trying to build his border wall. Usually you only hear the phrase "banana hammer" at a male strip club. "Here comes Banana Hammer!" --Jimmy Fallon


Today Amazon announced it's creating its own healthcare company. That's kind of awkward getting healthcare from Amazon. Especially when a drone flies over your house and says "Viagra for Bob. Viagra for Bob." --Jimmy Fallon


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

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