Which is why today she bought a mansion and retired (Be like Han/Uh, mammal?)

Ted Cruz's dad said that God sent a message to Ted Cruz's wife giving his permission to run for president. Though I'm not sure that's what God meant when he told Cruz’s wife, “Run!!” –Jimmy Fallon

"When asked what kind of meat they use, a spokesman for Hot Pockets said, 'Uh, mammal?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"A girl in San Francisco actually sold Girl Scout cookies at a medical marijuana clinic this week. Which is why today she bought a mansion and retired." –Jimmy Fallon

Whole Foods is looking into the idea of putting tattoo parlors in their grocery stores. Even so, the people walking out of Whole Foods with the biggest sense of regret will still be whoever just paid $8 for an apple. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”