don’t pick the one where the grandmas don’t know how to turn their knitting into a firebomb (a cobra who took too many edibles)

March 2022

“That’s right, Biden was at the podium with Kamala Harris and Nancy Pelosi right behind him. Fox News was like, ‘Throw in Hillary and you’ve got all Four Horsemen.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“During his speech, Biden introduced his new unity agenda. Unity agenda, yeah. And you can tell it worked because every single Republican ignored him.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yep, it was historic — 400 representatives, 100 senators and size 96 font on the teleprompter.” —Jimmy Fallon

“You have to praise the mettle of the Ukrainian resistance that has reportedly surprised and stymied the Russian military. Everyone around the world has been inspired by the resistance that they’ve put up so far, and their ability to tell Russia to go fuck itself in so many different ways. Despite the overwhelming odds, you have to respect the fight, man! You have to respect the fight that the Ukrainian people are putting up. Civilians are grabbing shotguns. Farmers are towing tanks. Like, one thing we’re learning from this war is if you’re going to invade a country, maybe don’t pick the one where the grandmas don’t know how to turn their knitting into a firebomb.” —Trevor Noah

“News reports mark a departure from Putin’s usual emotionless stance, like a weird combination of being super calm and super dangerous and something like a cobra who took too many edibles.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”