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Tuesday, December 31, 2019

He demanded to see each egg's birth certificate (Or as Republicans call it, health care)


"President Obama hosted the annual White House Easter Egg Roll. It was a little awkward though. Donald Trump showed up and demanded to see each egg's birth certificate." –Jimmy Fallon 

"A study found Americans spend $1.2 trillion every year on stuff they don’t need. Or as Republicans call it, health care." –Jimmy Fallon

"New York just passed a law that allows same-sex conjugal visits for prisoners. Isn’t that pretty much what prison is?" –Jimmy Fallon

"The White House Easter egg roll was held yesterday. It was a great opportunity for kids from all over the country to come to the White House and look for the president's birth certificate." –Jimmy Kimmel

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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