Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to stick my tongue in that light socket (from the bottom of my, I now see, feminine toilet)

President Trump caught a lot of flack for bailing on the wreath-laying ceremony in France on Saturday. And Trump told aides he thought he looked “terrible” and blamed his chief of staff’s office for not counseling him that skipping the cemetery visit would be a public relations nightmare. Trump said, “Look, why didn’t you tell me that not honoring fallen soldiers on Veterans Day would make me look bad. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to stick my tongue in that light socket. Nobody talk till I’ve done it.” --Stephen Colbert

I invite you now to join me in viewing the best product the new Attorney General of the United States ever helped sell to the world. The extra-deep “masculine toilet” for the well-endowed. Lord, I don’t know what I did to deserve Matthew Whitaker, but I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and from the bottom of my, I now see, feminine toilet. --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”