So, everyone just calm down and listen to the clear-headed advice of the guy who owns Abraham Lincoln's hair (Imbeciles, definitely)

"Britney Spears' hair is being sold on eBay. The price has skyrocketed to $1 million. But a collector who owns a lock of Abraham Lincoln's hair says that it's really only worth $5,000. So, everyone just calm down and listen to the clear-headed advice of the guy who owns Abraham Lincoln's hair." --Conan O'Brien

"Lots of people giving up things for Lent. Tony Blair is giving up the war in Iraq." --Jay Leno

"The British announced they are pulling their troops out of Iraq. Dick Cheney immediately called it good news. He said it is a sign we are winning." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”