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Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Aloha, B*tches’ bumper sticker (your lights are on)



People were freaking out. Although not as much as they would be in any other state. But the fact that it took them 38 minutes to get around to telling people there wasn’t a ballistic missile on the way is very Hawaii. It’s about as Hawaii as it gets. --Jimmy Kimmel
They don’t have that level of anxiety that we do. You know, usually the Hawaii emergency broadcast system is reserved for messages like “To the owner of a rusty Jeep with an ‘Aloha, B*tches’ bumper sticker, your lights are on.” --Jimmy Kimmel
A magisterial collection.
An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.

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