"Fidel Castro
has resigned as President of Cuba. And true to his word, he always said he
would quit being a dictator when it wasn't fun anymore. I guess his
heartlessness just wasn't in it anymore." --Jay Leno
"You
excited about the big Presidential race? Whoo, how about that Hillary
Clinton campaign? You know, they're worried now. They're worried and
a little bit nervous. They're campaigning in Texas today. Give you an idea how
nervous Hillary is: she showed up in a pantsuit and chaps. And last week, in
Wisconsin, she showed up in a cheese pantsuit." --David Letterman
"Yeah,
there's already trouble down there in Texas in the primary. Bill, of course, got into
a shouting match with an oil well." --David Letterman
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