Say hello to my little friend (3rd July 1988)

It’s been a tough day for the House speaker, Mike Johnson, as he faces a movement to oust him from the position from his own party. They just got rid of the last guy six months ago. Republican speaker of the House has joined the list of least secure jobs, just below #2 leader of Isis, world’s oldest man and Rupert Murdoch fiancee. —Stephen Colbert

“Donald Trump had the day off from his criminal trial on Wednesday. He spent part of it criticizing my hosting of the Oscars several weeks ago, and he mistook me for Al Pacino somehow? He’s Al Pacino, I’m me. You’d think he would know that because I’m pretty sure ‘Say hello to my little friend’ is what he said to Stormy Daniels that got him in all this trouble.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Say hello to my little friend (but eventually snow goes away)

February 2014

"It was 15 degrees cooler in Atlanta when they had the Summer Olympics than it is in Sochi where they had the Winter Olympics. It got up to 60 degrees today. It was so warm some of the people staying in the hotels thought the heat started working. But it turns out it was just the sun." –Jimmy Kimmel 

"Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That’s my job!' But you know, there is a big difference between Ted Cruz and snow. Both are white and everyone’s sick of them – but eventually snow goes away." –Bill Maher

"In Sochi, a man who criticized the Sochi games was sentenced to three years in a prison colony. After hearing the sentence, the man said it's still better than a hotel in Sochi." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Really, how about lighting yourself on fire? (this is more like a drinking game)

September 2013

"This is the 41st time that they have voted to repeal Obamacare. This is really not governing, this is more like a drinking game; every time they vote to defund, Boehner knocks back a Wild Turkey." –Bill Maher

"The leader in this movement to defund Obamacare is Ted Cruz, the senator from Texas. He said, 'I will do anything and everything possible to defund Obamacare.' Really, how about lighting yourself on fire?" –Bill Maher

"Ted Cruz is half Canadian and half Cuban. The wit of Justin Bieber combined with the people skills of Scarface." –Bill Maher

"Under the bill they voted for, states now have to require food stamp recipients to be drug-tested and work at least 20 hours a week – the same thing I was going to suggest for congressional Republicans." –Bill Maher

"The video game Grand Theft Auto 5 made 800 million dollars in one day. People say Americans can't export on values anymore, this proves we can. Unfortunately, our values are car theft and mass shootings." –Bill Maher

"New Rule: If House Republicans succeed in cutting $40 billion from the Food Stamp program, Congressman James Sensenbrenner has to go to a food bank and donate at least two of his chins." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How about lighting yourself on fire?

"This is the 41st time that they have voted to repeal Obamacare. This is really not governing, this is more like a drinking game; every time they vote to defund, Boehner knocks back a Wild Turkey." –Bill Maher



"The leader in this movement to defund Obamacare is Ted Cruz, the senator from Texas. He said, 'I will do anything and everything possible to defund Obamacare.' Really, how about lighting yourself on fire?" –Bill Maher



"Ted Cruz is half Canadian and half Cuban. The wit of Justin Bieber combined with the people skills of Scarface." –Bill Maher



Rush Limbaugh came out in favor of Obamacare

"Pakistan is opening an amusement park and a zoo in the same town where the raid on Osama Bin Laden took place. The zoo is pretty cool, but I've heard you won't be able to see the seals until it's too late." –Jimmy Fallon 

"This is kind of disturbing. The Justice Department has concluded that the president can order drone strikes on American citizens. And today, Rush Limbaugh came out in favor of Obamacare." –Jay Leno 

"Some Democrats in Congress are now trying to change the marijuana laws, making it legal so it can be taxed and increase revenue. Is that what the government's come down to now? We're selling drugs to pay off our debts? When did Uncle Sam become Scarface?" –Jay Leno