That’s like getting confronted about your drinking by Rudy Giuliani (I’m pretty sure he has bigpox)

A new book revealed that the ex-Trump lawyer Sidney Powell wanted to hire operatives with “hunting licenses” to take Dominion voting machines since they are obviously “all guarded by elk”, a plan that even Rudy Giuliani nixed. Do you know how crazy you have to be for the voice of reason to be Rudy Giuliani? That’s like getting confronted about your drinking by Rudy Giuliani. —Stephen Colbert

The predictability of Trump and his cronies who start fearmongering about immigration whenever an election is on the horizon. Whenever the ex-president starts, rightwing media obediently follows his cue showing footage of the “caravan” of immigrants that was screamed about before the 2018 midterms with Fox correspondents spreading fear about possible diseases. As far as Trump goes, forget smallpox, I’m pretty sure he has bigpox. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Jimmy Dore: Fox News Shells Out $787 Million Settlement Over Dominion Lawsuit

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

It’s going to take a lot of reverse mortgage ads to pay that one off (selling ad space on Tucker Carlson’s forehead)

April 2023

“It’s going to take a lot of reverse mortgage ads to pay that one off.” —Jimmy Kimmel on Fox’s $800 Million Dominion settlement

“Immediately after the settlement, Fox issued a statement that said, ‘This settlement reflects Fox’s commitment to the highest journalistic standards.’ They’re already lying in their statement about lying.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“It’s a fitting lesson for the world from the American justice system. Yes, it is — there’s a price to pay for lying to the American people, and if you can afford that price, go for it!” —James Corden

“Fox News has to pay Dominion nearly $800 million. It’s so much money, they’ve already started selling ad space on Tucker Carlson’s forehead.” —James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I wanted to see Rupert Murdoch put his hand on the Bible and burst into flames! (Zombie Food Pyramid)

April 2023

“Dominion Voting Systems settled its defamation lawsuit against Fox News on Tuesday, with the conservative news network agreeing to pay $787.5 million to avoid a trial. I want my trial! I want it! You were supposed to provide me six weeks of delicious content! I wanted to see Rupert Murdoch put his hand on the Bible and burst into flames!” —Stephen Colbert

“I guess it’s satisfying for Dominion that Rupey had to fork over a pile of cash, but that does nothing for our democracy. What we need is Fox News personalities to look straight into the camera, admit that they lied over and over again about the 2020 election, and then hurl themselves into Mount Doom.” —Stephen Colbert

“Fox News settled for $787.5 Million. That’s a lot of dough-minion.” —Stephen Colbert

“To counter any negative news, the company released an ad in the New York Times claiming that 41% of viewers still trusted the network. So less then half, kind of a weird thing to brag about.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The 10,953th most visited site in the world (at least 15 times)

April 2023

“Donald Trump’s recent financial disclosure report which told us many things about the former president’s dealings but also that he made just $201 from his much-trumpeted social media platform Truth Social. That was less than he would have made if he started a lemonade stand outside of Mar-a-Lago. Truth Social is the 10,953th most visited site in the world, more than a thousand spots behind arbys.com.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“The Fox News/Dominion trial continues with the network being in a very difficult position now as proceedings are set to begin with damning evidence against them including texts in which execs openly talk about how dumb Trump’s lawyers were. Trump recently posted that Fox should double down and continue to report the falsehoods they are currently being sued over. It was like if O.J. tried on the glove then turned around and killed Johnnie Cochran with it.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump’s recent appearance at an NRA convention, where he called for teachers across the US to be armed to help combat school shootings. What a remarkably stupid and dangerous idea. If this had been the case when I was at school, my Spanish teacher would have shot me at least 15 times.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

You cannot take this away from me, this is my Super Bowl (not a huge compliment/Hitler Homes and Goebbels)

April 2023

“Harlan Crow is an arch-conservative who’s known for his assorted Nazi memorabilia and garden full of statues of the 20th century’s worst despots. It’s so impressive that they put him on the cover of ‘Hitler Homes and Goebbels.’” —Stephen Colbert

“During another appearance at his ancestral home of County Mayo, President Biden made his first ever WWE entrance on stage to dramatic light. Biden said ‘I see the light’ to the attendees. There are three things you never say at your age, sir: ‘I see the light’, ‘that can wait until tomorrow’ and ‘I’ll drive’.” —Stephen Colbert

“The Fox News/Dominion trial has been delayed and may even be settled before it begins. You cannot take this away from me, this is my Super Bowl.” —Stephen Colbert

“Clarence Thomas, the supreme court justice who was revealed to have accepted lavish gifts and trips on the yacht and private jet of the billionaire Harlan Crow, who also collects Nazi memorabilia. Crow also bought the house where Thomas’s elderly mother is living rent-free. His defense is that he wants to create a public museum at the Thomas home. Just a reminder that Harlan Crow has Hitler’s napkins and a statue of Stalin in his garden so building you a museum: not a huge compliment.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Harsh, accurate words (Do I get a sash?)

“Last night, the former sat down with Tucker Carlson who, thanks to revelations from the Dominion lawsuit, we now know hates the president passionately, privately texting that he’s ‘a demonic force.’ Harsh, accurate words.” — Stephen Colbert

“A judge sanctioned Fox News on Wednesday for withholding evidence relevant to Dominion Voting Systems’ lawsuit. He said he would probably appoint a ‘special master’ — an outside lawyer — to investigate whether the network had misled the court. So the job is to figure out whether Fox News lies? Hold on, hold on — am I a special master? Do I get a sash?” —Stephen Colbert

“Over in Fox News today they began jury selection in Dominion’s $1.6 billion defamation suit against Fox, and this trial’s gonna be juicy. For instance, the judge has ruled that Dominion can compel testimony from Fox News personalities Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity and Jeanine Pirro. And to make sure Jeanine Pirro tells the truth, they’re swearing her in on a box of wine.” —Stephen Colbert

“So the judge is furious because Fox withheld the tapes. Although to be fair to Fox, they might not have known which embarrassing Rudy Giuliani tape they were being asked for. The one where the oil was leaking from his head or the one where he’s farting in court? The one where he’s unbuttoning his pants for Borat’s daughter? Or could it be the one where he held a press conference outside a dildo shop? How are they supposed to keep track of them all?” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

which is why I always order mine well done (staying out of re-education camps)

March 2023

A new study finds some New York City rats carry the virus that causes Covid, which is why I always order mine well done. —Michael Che

President Biden’s proposed budget included $400 Million to counter Chinese disinformation. It will target the number one source of Chinese disinformation. Fortune cookies. —Michael Che

New documents from the Dominion lawsuit revealed texts from Tucker Carlson in which he says he hates Donald Trump passionately and can’t wait until he’s able to ignore him. That must suck to go on TV and put on a smile and make friends with some psychotic bigot just because it’s good for the show. Anyway, back to you, Colin. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Next time you’re in Rupert’s office, make sure you’re not standing on top of any trapdoors (It’s like that, but without Simon Cowell)

March 2023

“The Conservative Political Action Conference, also known as CPAC, kicked off this week in Maryland. It’s kinda hard to explain. Every like low-rent radio host and podcast racist with a dye job and a fleece vest shows up to try to out-crazy each other. Remember the first seasons of American Idol? When the losers would just line up and get mowed down by Simon Cowell? It’s like that, but without Simon Cowell.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“One notable absentee from this year’s CPAC is Mike Pence. Not only is the former vice-poodle skipping CPAC this year, he appears to be distancing himself further from his former boss. Asked by CBS News if he would support Trump as the Republican nominee for 2024, Pence deferred: ‘Well, I think we’ll have better choices, and I really trust Republican voters.’ So, no. Has anyone dodged more questions than Mike Pence? This man was Donald Trump’s vice-president and he wouldn’t vote for him. Do you realize how unusual that is? It’s like if macaroni said goodbye to cheese.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Looking into the defamation lawsuit against Fox News by Dominion Voting Systems. For years now, the shtick over at Fox should be the same. They lie to their viewers while simultaneously telling those same viewers that it’s the rest of the media who’s lying to them and that Fox is the only outlet telling the truth. But their shtick is falling apart now that we have definitive proof in these court filings from the billion-dollar Dominion lawsuit that were not only lying, but they knew they were lying. Billionaire Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch said under oath that Fox News executives who knowingly allowed lies about the 2020 election to be broadcast ‘should be reprimanded’ or ‘maybe got rid of’. Wow, notice he didn’t say fired. He said ‘got rid of’. I’d be a little nervous if I worked over at Fox News. Next time you’re in Rupert’s office, make sure you’re not standing on top of any trapdoors.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I need you to switch who the president is (my new kink)

August 2021

“On Wednesday, a federal judge ruled that Dominion Voting Systems could proceed with its defamation lawsuits against Trump allies Mike Lindell, Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell. OK, so there are only two plausible explanations for what happened here: Either a federal judge appointed by Donald Trump ruled that unfounded claims of election fraud made by three Trump allies were not exempt from defamation laws, or Hugo Chavez teamed up with China and the C.I.A. to use Italian military satellites to hack the judge’s computer and alter his opinion, which was then printed out on paper smuggled in from China covered in bamboo fibers. The only way we can know for sure is if we take the judge’s ruling to a cabin in Montana, examine it under a powerful ultraviolet light, then bury it in the backyard, wait three days and see if it rains.” —Seth Meyers

“Did you see the reaction of MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell when he heard the news that the lawsuits against him would proceed? Watching someone get bad news, in real time, at their own symposium is my new kink.” —Seth Meyers

“Honestly, poor cyber experts. You go to school to get a degree in computer science, spend your whole career mastering a highly specialized skill that would be actually very helpful in today’s high-tech economy, and then a psycho pillow magnate hands you what I’m guessing is a garbage bag full of dry cleaning slips and CVS receipts and said, ‘I need you to switch who the president is.’” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”