Note to self, spend summer vacation at the Bowman Gray School of Medicine (It's toasted)

In North Carolina the Bowman Gray School of Medicine is looking for 20 habitual marijuana smokers who they'll provide with free pot in order to study the effects of the drug. Note to self, spend summer vacation at the Bowman Gray School of Medicine. --Norm Macdonald

This week President Clinton played golf with ex-presidents Gerald Ford and George Bush. Bush hit an old lady in the face with a golf ball giving her a broken nose and 10 stitches. But don't be impressed. It took him five strokes to do it. --Norm Macdonald

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

 “A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Even crazier, they said that before Jeb dropped out (Don't Do It, Man)

I saw that former presidents George W. Bush and George H.W. Bush announced that they will not endorse anyone in the 2016 presidential race. Even crazier, they said that before Jeb dropped out. –Jimmy Fallon

Jay Z is working on a new album to tell his side of the story in response to Beyoncé’s "Lemonade." But before that, his friends are going to release their own song called "Don't Do It, Man." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

I’ve ALWAYS had this hat (neither of those/counter-clockwise)

The New York Mets are in the World Series! Which means a lot of New Yorkers are going to stand in front of a mirror today and practice saying, “I’ve ALWAYS had this hat.” –Seth Meyers

Former President George H.W. Bush has a new biography coming out titled "Destiny and Power." While Jeb Bush has a new biography titled neither of those. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'm my own man, plus another guy (3rd July 1988)

"The Republicans in Congress voted no on the minimum wage. Wow, that's not the Republicans I know. I think they're confused. We're supposed to apply the economic sanctions to the Russians." –David Letterman

"Jeb Bush has to distance himself from what they call the Bush brand. So he keeps saying, 'I am my own man.' But when Governor Chris Christie is out on the campaign trail, he's always saying, 'I'm my own man, plus another guy.'" –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Say hello to my little friend (3rd July 1988)

It’s been a tough day for the House speaker, Mike Johnson, as he faces a movement to oust him from the position from his own party. They just got rid of the last guy six months ago. Republican speaker of the House has joined the list of least secure jobs, just below #2 leader of Isis, world’s oldest man and Rupert Murdoch fiancee. —Stephen Colbert

“Donald Trump had the day off from his criminal trial on Wednesday. He spent part of it criticizing my hosting of the Oscars several weeks ago, and he mistook me for Al Pacino somehow? He’s Al Pacino, I’m me. You’d think he would know that because I’m pretty sure ‘Say hello to my little friend’ is what he said to Stormy Daniels that got him in all this trouble.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

3% of U.S. military spending could end starvation on earth (However, he ended the tweet with #Alibi)

A new exhibit shows eight of the alternate endings Ernest Hemingway considered using for his classic novel "A Farewell to Arms." In my opinion the worst is the one that ends with "see ya later, arms!" –Conan O’Brien

This weekend, Bill Clinton tweeted that he was in Houston visiting Former President George H.W. Bush. However, he ended the tweet with #Alibi. –Conan O’Brien

Because of the sexual allegations against him, it’s rumored that Bill O’Reilly’s show may be going off the air. For continuity’s sake, Fox will replace it with reruns of "The Cosby Show." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You are being conditioned to view your freedom as selfish (HW’s Wok and Bowl and Top-Secret Document Warehouse)

October 2022

“Did Trump basically admit that he knew it was illegal to take top-secret documents to Mar-a-Lago? Any normal person in that situation might stay out of the spotlight, or at the very least, avoid talking about the case in public. But Trump, as we all know, is not normal. And during that rally in Arizona Trump, decided just essentially to confess. Trump said he had a small number of boxes in storage at Mar-a-Lago ‘guarded by Secret Service and my people and everybody. I mean, it’s safe,’ and also claimed ‘it’s not a crime,’ calling the documents ‘mine’ The key quote there is when he says it’s ‘mine’. That shows you it’s not a misunderstanding. He didn’t take the classified documents by accident; he took them on purpose because he thinks they belong to him. And when you’re proving a crime, criminal intent is key. I know that because I watch a show called Law & Order: Criminal Intent – it’s right there in the title. There was never a Law & Order spinoff called Law & Order: Oops, My Bad.” —Seth Meyers

“Trump also claimed without evidence that former president George H.W. Bush took ‘millions’ of top-secret documents to a former bowling alley and former Chinese restaurant in Texas, where he ‘combined them’. And that is why, to this day, if you’re in Texas, you can stop by HW’s Wok and Bowl and Top-Secret Document Warehouse.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the Republicans are so paranoid, today Chris Christie sent back his chimichanga (all of which sounds like one hell of a pre-game pep talk)

"Since House Majority Leader Eric Cantor lost to an anti-immigration candidate, many Republicans are feeling pressure to take a harder stance on immigration. In fact, the Republicans are so paranoid, today Chris Christie sent back his chimichanga." –Conan O'Brien

"George H.W. Bush turned 90 today and he celebrated by jumping out of a plane. Isn't that cool? So if you include Obama there were two presidents in freefall today." –Conan O'Brien

"Hey, America's in the World Cup. Did you even know that? Experts say they have less than a 1 percent chance of winning the World Cup, and even their coach said winning is not realistic — all of which sounds like one hell of a pre-game pep talk." –Conan O'Brien

"According to a new study, the number of car crashes linked to marijuana has risen. Fortunately, when the cars crashed they were all going eight miles per hour." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Eliot Spitzer may be in the market for a Hummer (He and I have that in common)

 

"Last night was President Bush's last State of the Union address. He said what he'll miss most about the State of the Union address are the fake standing ovations. He and I have that in common." --David Letterman

 

"Monday is President's Day and former President Bill Clinton is very excited. He is taking George Bush, Sr. to 'Hooters'. George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton have been spending more and more time together. Doesn't that seem like an unusual couple to you, honestly? Earlier today they went to go see that gay cowboy movie." --David Letterman

"Dick Cheney is on vacation. He's out in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, and so far he has shot two skiers." --David Letterman

"This weekend the annual auto show begins. The New York City Auto Show. It's going to be a great affair. I hear former Governor Eliot Spitzer may be in the market for a Hummer." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

People without heads tend not to speak out (the good news was he was delicious)

Before his visit to Israel, Trump was in Saudi Arabia. This is where the wheels came off. First of all, his commerce secretary was on TV raving about how there were no protesters in Saudi Arabia. Because protesters are beheaded in Saudi Arabia. That's why. People without heads tend not to speak out. –Jimmy Kimmel

"Former President George H.W. Bush will endorse Senator John McCain for president. They have been close friends since the Civil War and the former president says that John McCain is the only candidate who has the strength, the leadership and the vision to dig America out of this giant hole his son has put us in." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Vice President Dick Cheney says that it was an accident. He claims the guy got in his line of fire, but the good news was he was delicious. Eat what you shoot!" --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

God might let it slide. Not the wife (It's all fake news, buddy!)

"Quite a historic day. Barack Obama accepted the Democratic nomination for President of the United States. Barack gave his speech on the historic anniversary of Martin Luther King’s 'I Have a Dream' speech. And just two days after Hillary Clinton gave her 'I Had a Dream' speech." --Jay Leno

"An Indiana Republican congressman named Mark Souder, a married man and father of three, one of these family advocate guys, has resigned after admitting to having an affair with a female staffer. In his resignation statement, he mentions God five times and his wife once. He knows there's a slight chance that God might forgive him. God might let it slide. Not the wife." –Jay Leno

"One of the convention speakers praised George Bush Sr. for passing the Americans with Disabilities Act, allowing people with disabilities to get hired. Thus, of course, paving the way for his own son to one day become President." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

For continuity’s sake, Fox will replace it with reruns of The Cosby Show (However, he ended the tweet with #Alibi)

Researchers are saying that men who marry intelligent women are less likely to develop dementia later in life. After hearing this, Kanye West said, "Where am I?" –Conan O’Brien

A 104-year-old man just became the oldest person in the world to get a first tattoo. The tattoo says, "Do Not Resuscitate." –Conan O’Brien

Because of the sexual allegations against him, it’s rumored that Bill O’Reilly’s show may be going off the air. For continuity’s sake, Fox will replace it with reruns of "The Cosby Show." –Conan O’Brien

This weekend, Bill Clinton tweeted that he was in Houston visiting Former President George H.W. Bush. However, he ended the tweet with #Alibi. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s almost as if he’s insecure about something (dancing on my grave)

October 2021

“Jonathan Karl’s new Trump tell-all, ‘Betrayal,’ details Trump’s bragging about the size of the crowd that stormed the capitol. Of course, he was. Is there anything this guy won’t brag about? It’s like bragging about the size of your tumor. It’s not good.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Size matters so much to him. It’s almost as if he’s insecure about something.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Someday he’ll be looking up from the bowels of hell, elbowing his buddy, Jeffrey Epstein, saying, ‘Can you even believe how many people are dancing on my grave right now?’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Southwest Airlines canceled over 2,000 flights this weekend, stranding thousands of travelers. That is rough – the only thing worse than having your Southwest flight cancelled is actually having to fly Southwest. Booking a cheap flight on Southwest is like eating a Cinnabon. It’s amazing at first, but you quickly realize that you’ve made a huge mistake.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”