Wait a minute, all this time he's been functioning effectively? (When does he wind?)

"Now here's some sad information coming out of Washington. According to reports, President Bush may be drinking again. And I thought, 'Well, why not? He's got everybody else drinking.'" --David Letterman

Insiders say that if Karl Rove resigns, President Bush will not function effectively. Wait a minute, all this time he's been functioning effectively?" --David Letterman

"President Bush is going on his annual vacation. The White House says he goes to his Texas Ranch to unwind. I'm thinking, when does he wind?" --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Apparently this is moving us further from a solution and closer to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (the next idea involves Bruce Willis and an asteroid)

"Good news in the oil situation. BP said they found a way to start breaking up their oil slick. The bad news is it involves a toxic chemical called Corexit 9527A. Apparently this is moving us further from a solution and closer to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." –Bill Maher

"Air Force One arrived [in Pakistan] today landing there after dark with the lights off and the window shades drawn. And then Osama bin Laden made a speech and said, 'Bush can run, but he can't hide'. Karl Rove told the president that if his approval ratings dipped any lower they were going to have to arrive home the same way." --Bill Maher

"British Petroleum is going to try something new. They're going to try what they call a 'top kill.' That's where they shove a fluid that looks a lot like mud down into the well. I hope this works because the next idea involves Bruce Willis and an asteroid." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Romney said he got the idea from Tom Cruise (Notebook of Nip*les, whatever...)

October 2012

"Couple of things: One, the women’s group was called MassGAP and they approached Governor Romney, not the other way around. And two, my guess is they did not refer to what they presented as a binder full of women, but perhaps as an organized collection of qualified resumes. But hey, Binder of Women, Book of Broads, Notebook of Nipples, whatever." –Jon Stewart

"The time for fact checking is after the event when voters have stopped watching. We should not be sullying their emotional reactions with accuracy." –Stephen Colbert, on Candy Crowley fact-checking Mitt Romney during the presidential debate

"Shocking. A conservative Republican congressman was caught having an illicit affair -- and it wasn't with a man, woohoo!" –Stephen Colbert

"Last night, Mitt Romney said when he was looking to hire females, he would browse through 'binders full of women.' Romney said he got the idea from Tom Cruise." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He's an evangelical. He's not a snake handler (three fact-checkers had to be taken into concussion protocol)

August 2020

Jerry Falwell, Jr. is in trouble. Apparently his wife was having an affair with the pool boy and allegedly Falwell would watch them having sex from the corner of the room. He says he did not have sex himself with the pool boy. He's an evangelical. He's not a snake handler. —Bill Maher

Falwell would allegedly watch his wife having sex with the pool boy from the corner of the room. So at least social distancing was maintained. —Bill Maher

I was watching the republican convention. It was a great week if you love reality shows but hate reality. —Bill Maher

Did you see Trump’s speech last night? There were three fact-checkers that had to be taken into concussion protocol. —Bill Maher

Trump bragged that he had created the greatest economy since man began to walk erect. And the proof of that is that the demand these days for coffins, plywood, rocks, bottles and replacement plate glass has never higher. —Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”