He’s getting more presidential every day (Normal Florida wedding proceeds without incident)

President Trump is filing a lawsuit against Capital One Bank. Apparently, Trump really doesn’t want us to know what’s in his wallet. --James Corden

Earlier in his campaign, Trump was calling Carly Fiorina ugly. Now he’s saying he might pick her up if she falls down. Guys, that’s growth. He’s getting more presidential every day. –James Corden

A Fox News headline read “Bikini-clad bride weds groom in overalls, caps off Florida wedding with roll in the mud.” The honest headline should have read “Normal Florida wedding proceeds without incident.” --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Wake me up if you get horny (a huge increase in the number of banks robbing people)

USA Today's GOP “Power Rankings” had some big shake-ups this week, with Marco Rubio in the lead and Chris Christie in the top five. Yep, Rubio is number one, while Christie is numbers two through five. –Jimmy Fallon

"Listen to this: In 2009, the F.B.I. reported a 20 percent decrease in the number of people robbing banks. There was, however, a huge increase in the number of banks robbing people." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Jimmy Dore: The Super-Secret Project Agora Is Coming To Control Our Lives! w/ Paul Stone

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

She needs money so badly she’s now co-starring in the next Nicolas Cage movie (Hey man, that’s the key to every party)

Chase bank ATMs are getting a new feature that will allow

customers to withdraw cash without using a card. The feature

is called "a crowbar." –Conan O’Brien

An analyst for Time magazine says the key to the survival of the Republican Party is bringing in young women. When told this, Bill Clinton said, "Hey man, that’s the key to every party." –Conan O’Brien

"The royal family has reportedly burned through its money and is now strapped for cash. In fact, Queen Elizabeth needs money so badly she’s now co-starring in the next Nicolas Cage movie." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We’re spending eight hours a day with Ted Cruz — how much worse could prison be? (Mike Pence’s beer helmet)

"Listen to this: In 2009, the F.B.I. reported a 20 percent decrease in the number of people robbing banks. There was, however, a huge increase in the number of banks robbing people." –Jimmy Fallon

“Each day of the impeachment trial will begin with the proclamation, ‘All persons are commanded to keep silent on pain of imprisonment.’ Senators heard that and were like, ‘We’re spending eight hours a day with Ted Cruz — how much worse could prison be?’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Meanwhile, one senator claims they’re only allowed to drink water and milk on the Senate floor. The only other place you’ll see water and milk is in Mike Pence’s beer helmet.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The feature is called "a crowbar." (Well, then you’re all set)

Chipotle is now being accused of gender discrimination. A spokesperson for Chipotle said, "That’s not true, we serve both E. coli and She. coli." –Conan O’Brien

Chipotle said they will be closing all of their stores for one day next month to discuss food safety. Chipotle said if that doesn’t work they’re going to fall back to Plan B, "Salmonella Sundays." –Conan O’Brien

Chase bank ATMs are getting a new feature that will allow customers to withdraw cash without using a card. The feature is called "a crowbar." –Conan O’Brien

Today, Donald Trump got the endorsement of Sarah Palin. When he heard, John McCain said, "Well, then you’re all set." –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

America could’ve made a new Fast & Furious movie every day for 20 years (we’re just gonna stick with the Candyman)

September 2021

“America’s chaotic withdrawal from Afghanistan after 20 years of war, left a trail of destruction in its wake. We just observed the 20th anniversary of 9/11, and what do we say? ‘Never forget,’ which is a powerful and necessary sentiment, and it’s true. But if I’m honest, I think we need to expand on what ‘never forget’ means. I also feel like we should never forget how easily our fear can drive us to do horrible things to other human beings. As terrible as the recent US drone strike in Afghanistan that the New York Times reported accidentally killed 10 civilians, including seven children, what’s even more terrible is that when you look back at the 20 years of the war, there’s absolutely nothing unique about it. At one point in the war, America and its allies were killing more civilians than the Taliban – a huge failure on the part of America. I mean, if you’re killing more civilians than the Taliban, what’s the point of being there? Like, if you’re trying to catch the Candyman but you’re killing more people than he is, at some point people are just gonna be like, ‘All right, we’re just gonna stick with the Candyman.’” —Trevor Noah

“What makes it worse is that nobody ever seems to face any consequences for these deaths. There’s no other job in the world where you can just accidentally kill innocent people and then show up the next day like nothing happened. In fact, the war in Afghanistan was something most Americans did forget, while it was happening. To most people in America, this war became like when you forget Netflix is on, and they have to pop up that little thing like, ‘Yo, are you still alive?’ But the Afghan people did not forget about the war, especially as thousands of innocent people lost loved ones to American drone strikes. And lest Americans forget the financial cost, the war cost $300 Million a day for 20 years. Forget about schools and hospitals – for $300 Million a day, America could’ve made a new Fast & Furious movie every day for 20 years.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”