I believe that’s every one of our sponsors (you get exclusive access to the gold toilet)

“We also got a list of all the medications Joe Biden takes for allergies, blood pressure and heartburn. They’re all pretty common — Eliquis, Crestor, Dymista, Allegra, Pepcid, and Nexium. Thanks, Joe! I believe that’s every one of our sponsors.” —Stephen Colbert

“When asked about his mental state, the doctor said, ‘The president is in healthy physical condition.’” — Jimmy Fallon

A New York court rejected Donald Trump’s request to extend the payment period for his civil fraud penalty; as of now, he must either pay $454m or present a cash bond within 30 days. A lot of batshit stuff will happen in this election, so I think it’s OK for us to just take a second and enjoy the sentence ‘Trump doesn’t have the money.’ Trump will probably have to sell off property to raise the money. I guess that means we should look forward to seeing his private jet joining the Spirit Airlines fleet. If you upgrade to Comfort Plus, you get exclusive access to the gold toilet. —Seth Meyers

“This is what happens when we let an extra from ‘Home Alone 2’ pick three Supreme Court justices.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The last time Kevin felt this abandoned in his house was the movie Home Alone (showing up for a Tinder date with a toothbrush)

January 2023

“The Republicans in the House of Representatives failed for the second day to elect a new speaker. They’ve been in power for two days, and so far putting Republicans in charge of the House has been like putting woodchucks in charge of your lawn.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“The presumed next speaker, the California representative Kevin McCarthy, failed to reach the required number of votes six times in two days – who would’ve guessed that a bunch of insurrection apologists would have trouble certifying a vote? The last time Kevin felt this abandoned in his house was the movie Home Alone.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“McCarthy, a longtime Trump supporter, has been caucus-blocked by the Freedom Caucus, a group of far-right Republicans who view him as not far-right enough. Nevertheless, McCarthy already moved his stuff into the speaker’s office before the failed vote, which is like showing up for a Tinder date with a toothbrush.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“The last time something like this happened was 100 years ago. And I’ll tell you something – Joe Biden solved it then, and he can solve it again now.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump offered tepid support for McCarthy on Wednesday, posting on Truth Social that he will do a good job, and maybe even a GREAT JOB. He gave a more forceful endorsement to stuffed crust pizza than to Kevin McCarthy. I have to admit, it’s fun to watch these animals stabbing each other in the back. It’s like the House of Cards, but everyone is Kevin Spacey.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I was positive he was going to be the next James Bond (on the subject of leaving unions)

February 2021

“After the Screen Actors Guild criticized Donald Trump last month, today he sent a letter saying that he’s quitting the union. Trump’s out of work and just quit his union — even worse, now if he wants medical coverage, he’s got to sign up for Obamacare.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Trump sent them a scathingly stupid letter that begins, ‘I write to you regarding the so-called disciplinary committee hearing aimed at revoking my union membership. Who cares?’ Oh, I know! The guy who took the time to write a letter, who also has skin so thin it makes phyllo dough look like Kevlar?” —Stephen Colbert

“So he’s now out of the actors’ union. That’s too bad — I was positive he was going to be the next James Bond.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Meanwhile, Melania heard and was like, ‘Um, Donald, while we’re on the subject of leaving unions.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“One day you’re the most powerful man on earth, the next you’re bragging about your one line in ‘Home Alone 2.’” —Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”