The men said they wanted to escape but they never got around to it (the dirty water is fine as long as you chew it thoroughly)

In California, two women have been arrested for holding a group

of men hostage and making them work for several months on a

marijuana farm. The men said they wanted to escape but they

never got around to it. –Conan O’Brien

"Big story. Earlier today, President Obama said that he's dropping President Bush's plan for a missile defense shield. Obama is also dropping President Bush's plan to build an elite army of Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots." --Conan O'Brien

"Some unfortunate news about California. A new study shows that California has the dirtiest tap water in the country. California officials insist that the dirty water is fine as long as you chew it thoroughly." --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”