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Monday, March 27, 2017

For every year you're in a Vietnamese prison camp, you should be allowed one extramarital affair



"There was a big story in The New York Times today about Senator John McCain, who's running for president. It questioned his ties to a lobbyist named Vicki Iseman. The story 'hinted' that McCain may have had an extramarital affair with her, but the weird thing is she looks almost exactly like John McCain's wife, Cindy. So he might have just got confused and grabbed the wrong woman. These two look more alike than the Olson twins." --Jimmy Kimmel

"I don't know if anything happened or not, but I think the rule of thumb should be every year you're in a Vietnamese prison camp, you should be allowed one extramarital affair." --Jimmy Kimmel

"It's been a very tough day for John McCain with the New York Times' allegation that he had an affair. The paper is saying McCain had an affair, years ago, with Joan of Arc or something." --Craig Ferguson



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