"The stock market is going crazy. Earlier this week,
Warren Buffett lost $2 billion. Luckily, Buffett found it this morning under a
pile of $8 billion." –Conan O'Brien
"Scientists found they have evidence that human beings had
sex with Neanderthals. Apparently the evidence is any episode of the 'Real
Housewives of New Jersey.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Kenny G caused a controversy. I never get to say that. He
tweeted his support of the Hong Kong protesters. Now China's communist
government is mad at him. China has threatened to pull Kenny G's music out of
all of their elevators." –Conan O'Brien
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