"Halloween is just a few days away and the Obamas have
invited children to go trick-or-treating at the White House on Friday. It will
be fun until the Secret Service tackles a kid and says, 'We finally got one.
He's dressed like a ninja turtle and tried to get in here.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Before the World Series game last night, Aaron Lewis from
the band Staind botched the National Anthem. To make things worse he started
the song with, 'Are you ready for some football?'" –Conan O'Brien
"A new report claims that by the year 2020 the marijuana
industry could be bigger than the NFL. Either way, it's a good time to be in
the couch business." –Conan O'Brien
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