"Making his first visit to our show tonight is Bill
O'Reilly. Bill is here to promote his book 'Killing Jesus.' I'm going to have
to tell him someone else sold a book on that subject and it sold quite
well." –Jimmy Kimmel
"When asked what kind of meat they use, a spokesman for
Hot Pockets said, 'Uh, mammal?'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Today at the Olympics the Russian men's hockey team,
which was favored, was eliminated by Finland. Then an hour later, the Russian
men's hockey team was eliminated by Putin." –Conan O'Brien
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